Addicted

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I didn't know what to do. I froze. My heart felt like it exploded in my chest, letting the emotions pour out into my entire body, flooding my veins.

 I couldn't help it. I let my body take over and I reacted. I closed the distance between us, crashing my lips against his forcefully.

 I could tell he was stunned at first, not moving for a second, but a second was all it took. His strong arms came around me, pulling me tighter against him, as his lips and tongue moved with mine. I crawled into his lap, straddling his waist, my knees on either side of his hips, while my fingers buried themselves in his hair.

His hands found their way to my ass, pulling me against him. I knew that I shouldn't be pushing him like this after what happened last time, but I was just so overcome with emotions and I didn't know how to tell him what I was feeling...so I was showing him.

This was strange for me. I didn't do this. Despite my bad ass attitude, smart mouth, and even slightly risque clothing choices sometimes, I didn't just jump into bed with people.

 Sex was meaningful to me, not just for fun. I had to have an emotional connection to be able to do this.

I felt Colby's hands lift his shirt that I was wearing and find the skin underneath, his cool fingers pressing tightly against me, almost hard enough to bruise. I didn't care. The pressure was amazing, and I just wanted more.

I wasn't going to tell him to stop this time. Not after everything that had just been said. I wanted him...no, it was more than that. I needed him.

His fingers grazed the sides of my breasts before going around to my back, his nails digging into my skin a little. I groaned into his mouth, and pulled me even tighter against him. He snatched his mouth away from mine, and I whimpered, missing the contact that was giving me life right now.

I didn't have time to miss it much, before his lips latched onto my neck, sucking and nipping at my sensitive skin. I let my head fall back, giving him better access, and pulled at his hair. He moaned against my throat, sending vibrations along my chilled skin, his cold tongue making goosebumps appear.

 I felt his teeth graze my neck, from below my ear to about halfway down my throat, before he pressed them into me, causing a sharp jolt of pain. I jerked, and let out another moan. One that I would have usually been embarrassed of, but right now...right now, I honestly didn't give a fuck.

 I was a mess and it was entirely his fault.

Suddenly, I found myself being thrown back against the couch, and Colby was somehow across the room in the next second. He was staring at me, his eyes almost black. I stared back, trying to catch my breath, letting it come in short gasps for the moment.

What the fuck had just happened? He looked frantic, crazy, like he was grasping at the last bit of control that he had left.

 "I can't-I can't do this." He groaned out, looking at me like that was the last thing he wanted to say.

Even though I knew it made no sense, rejection hit me hard. The guy who usually had a different girl in his bed every night, the guy who didn't tell anyone no, had just turned me down...I was devastated and embarrassed.

 I stood up, feeling those stupid fucking tears prick my eyes again and opened the door. I wanted out of this room, away from him, but his hand came slamming down onto the door, shutting it with a bang.

Colby was right in front of me, glaring at me, the silver around his black, bloodshot eyes pulsating.

 I reached up slowly to touch his face, transfixed by his eyes again, but he jerked his head away from my hand. Again, I was hurt, but I shoved it down.

"What is wrong with your eyes? I've seen them like that before but I thought that I was seeing things."

 He shook his head, and kept his eyes averted away from me. "Nothing. Where were you going?"

Oh yeah, he rejected me.

 "You didn't want to...so I was going to leave, or just go back downstairs. I probably need to go home anyways." I reached for the doorknob again, but Colby grabbed my hand.

 I made the mistake of looking into his face again, and met his normal blue gaze.

What the fuck? Was I actually going crazy?

"Please don't leave." His voice was like velvet, smoothing over my skin, but there was a pleading tone to it that broke my heart. "I don't want you to go...I just can't have sex with you. Not yet."

 I looked down to the floor. "Why not, Colby? You can have sex with everyone else without a problem, but not me? That doesn't make sense."

He shoved me back away from the door, until my legs hit the couch and I sat. He sat beside me, keeping my hand in his.

 "It does actually. I didn't care about them. I care about you. I don't know if I can..." His free hand drug through his hair again, then started playing with the earring at the top of his ear. "control myself." His eyes met mine and I saw actual fear in them. "I lose myself when I'm with you, and I'm scared..." He grasped my hand and brought it to his face so that I was caressing his cheek.

 He closed his eyes against my touch.

"I'm scared that I will hurt you. I know that I will. There are things that you don't know about me. You have a right to know them before we...take that next step."

 "So tell me." I whispered, not sure if I really wanted to know.

His eyes popped open and burned into mine.

 "Do you love me Chloe?" He asked, his voice rough and earnest.

 I nodded hesitantly.

"I think so."

 He shook his head. "Do you or not? I need to hear you say it, one way or another."

 I closed my eyes for a second, then opened them, meeting his blue gaze again.