Addicted

193 (Colby's POV)

"Um, that it might be possible with a little ritual. She just has to be willing to perform it with me. Don't think she's to the point where she'll be okay drinking blood though."

He didn't know that this could hurt me and would probably try to stop me if he did. There was no way that I was going to stop. I never could lie to Sam so I kept my gaze averted as my fangs slid out of my gums and I popped them into the first bag.

This was disgusting, and stale but it hit the spot. It curbed the ache in my belly and calmed the flames in my throat. I was gonna need more of these.

"How much did you bring?" I asked, looking back at him.

Lucky for me, he didn't notice my hesitancy when I was speaking about the ritual.

"Um, just a few. I ran so I didn't bring many. There are two more in the kitchen. That should satisfy you for tonight. She's gotta go to work right?"

I shook my head. I didn't want her to go in tomorrow.

"I'm gonna see if I can get her to call in. I know she just started but with the way those headaches were wracking through her, I feel like she needs a day to recuperate, and not read. She kind of wants to go see Kat too so, I thought that if Aza thinks she'll be okay, I could bring her to the house. To see everyone, ya know? Reunite with Kat and the girls. I wanna make sure that it's not gonna hurt her first though. She seems to be okay around me, until we start talking about what she forgot. Then she gets those sharp pains in her head. Strong enough to make her cry. I can't let her go through that." I said, shaking my head.

I slid out from under her, and stood up.

"Let's go in here to talk so she doesn't wake up." I motioned towards the door.

Sam nodded, and turned, walking out the door, into the living room.

I closed the bedroom door behind me and followed.

"Help me listen for her in case she wakes up."

He nodded again and sat down on the couch. "So what's this ritual? You need help?"

I shrugged. "I don't know exactly. Aza explained it, but I'm going to get him to do it again, just to be sure that I don't mess anything up. I don't want to take any chances that she could get hurt. If done correctly, she won't."

Sam's eyes locked onto mine and I knew it was coming. "But will you?"

I looked away from him and shook my head. "Nah, should be fine. Maybe make her drowsy, and me a little messed up but should be fine." I lied, knowing full well that the concoction that we had to drink could potentially kill me, or I could get locked inside my own head forever.

"You're lying. We can find another way Colby. You don't have to-"

"Yeah, I do Sam." I turned my head back to meet the gaze that was similar to my own. "I have to do it for her. Don't you understand that? Would you do it for Katrina?"

He bit his bottom lip and glared at me, because he knew that I was right. He would do anything for Kat, just like I would for Chloe, even if it meant dying.

He sighed, and ran his hand through his hair, just as I did the same

"Okay, you're right, but does she have to remember? Like, can't we just get to know her again or something? It would be hard, but you're already winning her over, and you won't die from this."

I shook my head. "She's not the same person Sam. I still love her obviously, but I just feel like I need to do this for her. She doesn't remember Katrina. The one who has been there for her since her parents died. The one who literally stood beside her and threatened a grown ass man that tried to hit her. The one who cussed out a surly vampire because he hurt her best friend. She believes that she doesn't have any friends. That she has never had friends. I can't let her live like that. Katrina made up a big part of her personality, and I think without remembering her, that fire that was inside of her didn't grow the way it was supposed to. It's flickering out, without that push that Kat gave her. I can barely get her to argue with me now. It's kind of annoying actually. We've been together most of the day and she only argued with me once at the sandwich shop...and that didn't last long."

Sam's forehead scrunched up as he looked at me. "You are a weird one Colby Brock. But I get it. Kat is pretty lost without her. Kind of reminds me of you and me. Can't have one without the other. The Yin to my Yang, right Brother?" He held his fist out to me and I tapped it with my own.

"Forever man. But you understand what I'm saying right? Why I need to do this?" He shook his head and I started to get annoyed. "What do you mean no? I just told you why-"

He cut me off by holding up his hand and I glared at him. "There he is. Was beginning to wonder if you had just went completely soft Brock."

I balled up my fist wanting to show him how hard that I was, but I restrained myself. This was Sam after all.

"I will never understand why you think you need to put yourself in the position where you might die, when she is obviously still alive and well. Millie isn't even interested in her right now because she thinks you can't have her now. She's safe and she still wants you. She's still her, just slightly different. Unless you can tell me that she's in danger being this way, or that it's going to hurt her in some way, I can't support you on this. I don't want you to do it man. For my own selfish reasons. I don't wanna lose you Colby. I can't...and you can't expect me to be okay with it." He held both of his hands out, open palms up. "That's just the way it is Brother. I'm sorry."

I sighed because I understood exactly what he was talking about.