Addicted

110

Kat pulled me to my bedroom, and closed the door behind us.

 "Come on, let's get you in your fave jammies, and wash your face. You'll feel better. You wanna take a hot shower or bath?" She asked me.

"Yeah, I think I will take a shower. Just wash this night completely off of me." I sighed thinking about how crazy the last few hours had been.

The back and forth between me and Colby was tearing my heart and mind apart. Hopefully, a good hot shower would help me think things through with a clear head. Not having Colby around was hard.

All I really wanted to do was go back to his house, find him, and let him hold me until I Felt better...that wasn't going to work though. I couldn't let myself disappear for a guy, or for anyone. I just couldn't.

I had almost done that in my last relationship. I let him be the cornerstone for every decision that I made, losing myself in the process. I even stopped dressing the way that I wanted because he would have a problem with it.

 Said that I was making myself look easy or 'gothic' to draw attention to myself. I would never let a man get so deep in my head again. I just couldn't.

I worked hard to be myself. I loved Colby, and honestly didn't think that he would be that way, but I could already feel how I would literally do anything he asked me to do. I didn't want to be that way ever again.

The way that I felt about Colby, I knew that it would be too easy to end up just like that again, probably worse. I got over being mad at him for the other girls quickly. I knew that was a problem.

Hopefully, giving myself space and proving that I could still live without him would help me figure this out. Even if we were predestined or whatever, I couldn't just turn into his girlfriend. I needed to be Chloe Daniels. I needed to be me.

I jumped in the shower and thought about all of these things, letting the hot water beat into my skin. The pressure felt amazing, and loosened the muscles in my back. I don't think I had ever enjoyed a shower more.

 As I got out and dried off, I tied my hair up in the towel and tied another around my body. Walking back into my room, Katrina wasn't there. She must have went back into the main room to talk to Sam.

I contemplated just lying down and going to sleep for a while. My schedule was so messed up now that I was hanging out with freaking vampires. I shook my head.

 That was still so insane. Screw sleeping, I wanted to write. It felt like it had been forever since I had written anything.

I knew that I should sleep, especially since I had to work tomorrow but I didn't have to be in until the afternoon so that left me a few hours to catch up on it. It was around 3 am now anyways. Might as well stay up a couple more hours.

 I changed into my pajamas, and stretched out on my bed, letting my hair air dry. I would pay for that tomorrow but tonight, I didn't care. Shit, my laptop was in the living room.

I huffed out a breath and stood back up to go get it. When I walked into the room, Sam and Kat came in off the balcony.

 "What were you guys doing out there?" I asked suspiciously.

 Last time anyone was on my balcony, it was Colby, and he made me forget about that...or he tried to. That thought brought back up the One thing, and my chest ached from missing him. I had literally only been away from him for like an hour. This was so ridiculous.

They looked at each other guiltily.

"We were just talking and looking at the stars."

I stepped back and crossed my arms. "You can't even see the stars over here. Not with the pollution and the city lights. You guys know that."

Kat rolled her eyes. "Okay, so we were looking at the city lights. Damn Chloe, can't a girl make out with her boyfriend? I was trying to not rub it in your face."

I looked from her to Sam.

They were acting weird but maybe she was just trying to not rub it in my face.

"You sticking around for a while Sam?"

 He shook his head. "Nah, think I'm going to go ahead and head back to the house. Check on Colby. Make sure the guys are acting right, ya know?" He replied smiling.

I couldn't help but smile back.

"Yeah, they're pretty crazy sometimes."

He nodded in agreement. He leaned forwards and wrapped me in a hug. It was really comforting and I was thankful for it.

Kat was really lucky to have him.

"It'll work out. You'll both be fine. You'll see."

My eyes teared up again for what felt like the millionth time.

I pulled away and wiped my eyes.

"Yeah, I hope so. Will you tell him that I...no, nevermind. Clean break for a little while is best."

Sam looked at me sadly. "You sure? You don't want me to tell him that you miss him?" How does he do that?

I shook my head.

 "No, not yet."

 He shrugged. "Okay. I'm sure he knows anyways. I'll see you ladies tomorrow."

He kissed Kat, picking her up and swinging her around. She squealed, her lips against his, then laughed when he set her down.

 "I love you." He said softly.

She blushed.

 "I love you." He kissed her again quickly, then left.

My chest ached, watching them. I honestly might need to go to the hospital for a broken heart. The pain just wouldn't stop.

Then I remembered that I was doing this to myself. I knew that Colby would welcome me back in a heart beat but I just couldn't allow myself to do it. Not yet.

 I sighed and grabbed my laptop.

"I'm going to write for a little while. Will you be okay in here by yourself?" I asked Katrina.

 She plopped down on the couch, and kicked her shoes off.

"I'll be fine babe. Do what you need to do. I might eat all of your snacks but I'll be fine." She giggled.