chapter 34: The Emotions

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Cher

The dinner was wonderful, full of emotions and laughter and I being a counselor for the rare times in my life. It is so nice to be able to smile and have fun with someone. It is been so long since I went out with a friend or with someone who was not part of my family, that I almost forgot how great it is to have communication with someone.

After helping Zeke out with his 'relationship problem' we have learned about each others and I can say that I learned quite a lot about him. Behind his funny behaviour and his rich-lookalike guy, he is a normal guy who works in a normal tourist office in Dubai but the thing is, he is not from Dubai, he is originally from Cudillero, a small village from Spain. I was so happy to found out that he is Spanish, at least we have something in common.

He also revealed that he has no father, that he never knew him, and that he has a disabled younger brother. He spoke of his mother with such delicateness and love that it made my heart melt. For him, without his mother, he would not be here today because he was a troubled child in his childhood. He confessed that seeing his disabled brother was a trauma to him and he used this trauma and pain to hurt others.

But he said that growing up, he realized that life was different for everyone on this earth, which made him change his attitude, and he started to study at Astuamerica, a public school near from his village. From there, he traced a path for himself even if he stumbled a lot on the road to succeed. His story was emotional and just by thinking about it again makes me feel sad but happy for him. Who would have thought that behind such a happy, enthusiastic man would hide such journey, nobody is perfect I guess, we all have our burden.

I climb on my bed after taking a hot bath in the bathtub and after changing myself into black shorts and black sweater. I reach for my laptop and place it in front of me, my files appear on my screen, showing me that I have not given myself the worry to write a single word in recent days. Am I getting lazy or is it the whole Julian situation that is taking all of my time?

I scroll through my apps and click on the red icon. For the first time since my arrival on this cruise, I open my emails. I did not want to open them because these messages will reconnect me to my past, something I'm desperately trying to keep away from me as long as I will be here, on this cruise but I can not block myself away from reality, maybe someone needs me or I do not know, something like that.

The first email is from an online shop where I bought things months ago, they are informing me that in two days they will launch a new collection. I quickly press on the next email, not the right time to buy clothes, is it?

The next one is from my cousin, Abril, who sent me an invitation for her 20th birthday. The message was sent four days ago. A small bitter laugh leaves my mouth as I read her words, while I was there with them in Spain, she never wanted to speak to me nor to even set a glance on me and now she is inviting me to her birthday party which is two months away. Maybe she woke up on the right side of the bed for once or she dreamed of me that night before she sent this, how pathetic people can be.

Does she really think that I am going to come, oh no, there is no way. I do not like when people act this way, I was a transparent wall for her and even if we are family, even if she is the daughter of my uncle, my dad's brother, there is no way I am going there to be the hypocrite.

A loud knock on the door get me out of my thoughts about Abril and her sudden invitation. My eyes catch a glimpse of the time, 00:35 am. Who is knocking on my door at this time, it's already past midnight. I do no think it is Julian, he said he would not be able to make it due to a lot of things to do, so who can this be then?

I climb out of bed and walk towards the door, I unlock it and open it cautiously. To my surprise, Julian is standing here in his white uniform this time, I definitely can not choose the one that suits him the most, he is so handsome in both.

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