What would you do if what you dreaded most became your unyielding coveted desire?
We kiss and all I can think about is him taking me right here right now! It's like he was reading my mind. He grabs my ass with both hands before he grabs the top of m...
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"FUCK!" I can't sleep, counting, breathing, meditating, rain sounds, it's fucking useless, nothing's soothing me. After I expelled my emotions, I've done nothing but twist and turn, staring into nothing being consumed by thoughts I'm at war with.
Knowing he's in her apartment is driving me fucking crazy. I can't stand the thought of them alone together, behind closed doors. Especially knowing how she said she would ride him.
No stop, she wouldn't do that. She's my friend right? But he's not mine so it doesn't really matter. I don't even want to see him so why the hell am I losing sleep over this shit!?
I know why, but I don't want to admit it again. Last time I admitted it to myself, I was met with a throbbing pain that sucked the life out of me directing me to drive aimlessly for hours just to get away from the pain.
I'm unable to function properly, my mind is a shambles, my sleep is erratic and I just need to get back to the Chloe I was before him. Fuck-n-go, no strings attached, no feelings and NO FUCKING PAIN.
I twist to the other side of my bed, groaning, clasping my phone in my hand, peering at the screen in hopes I'd see his name with a message and ... nothing ... is he really that busy now?
This yearning for his pursuit of me has got to stop, Chloe breath! I inhale deep and slow, releasing as I count back from 10 trying to clear my head.
I check the time on my phone ... 3 am, fucking great! I leap off my bed, marching straight into the kitchen. One foot thumping in front of the other, over and over again. I'm going to wear out my floors at this rate. Fuck, I can't stop this incessant pacing.
Why does this bother me, it shouldn't, I've been ignoring him, I don't want him! I try to convince myself as I squat on the sofa embracing a pillow. I need to reset my mind and relax.
My head snaps up for the fluffy cushion as I hear Jade's door open and their muffled conversation. I jump to my tiptoes, scurrying over to see how they look.
I take a deep breath as I peer through the peep hole. I see Axle, his shirt is untucked, his hair is disheveled, he looks like he could have fucked her.
My breathing quickens, heart consuming my head, I move away from the door, clasping my head in my hands, the pounding is unforgiving and infinite.
Images of Jade riding Axle pop in my mind. It's what she said she would have done if she were me. What the fuck is wrong with me? I have to calm the down. Chloe this is so out of character.
I freeze, eyes wide, my breath hitches in my throat, when I hear a gentle taping at my door. I stare in it's direction, blankly, not knowing what to do. "It's me honey, open the door."
I'm motionless, can I face her given my thoughts about her and Axle. "Come on Chloe, I just want to make sure you're okay," her concerned voice carries thru the wood separating us.
