HEAT •jb•

16~Abu Dhabi

"Where's Justin?" Jamie asked hopping over to me and handing my phone to me.

"He's not feeling well. You're gonna have to see him another time Hun" I comforted shrugging. I'm amazing myself with how easily I seem to be letting the lies fall from my lips tonight. Jamie's shoulders fell heavily as he huffs in disappointment. "Sorry Jay." I apologise as we step into the gold, blue and black elevator. Jamie simply shrugs his head hanging low and as the doors close I hear Justin shouting my name loudly.

It's nowhere near as dramatic as I make it out to be in my head. Justin simply called my name from down a hallway probably hoping I'd run to him, following his every demand like every other person here. That's not happening. I'm not like that. if I do something it's because I want to; not because it's expected of me.

Whilst I wait for Jamie I fasten his seat belt in the seat beside me I take a moment to let everything sink in. "I don't think I'm going to see Justin again am I Charlie?" He asks as I pull away from the curb of the small turning circle. I'm completely stuck for an honest because I have no clue and I don't want to tell yet another lie.

"We'll see Jay. I don't know." I mumble averting my eyes from his small body which just emits disappointment.

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Its eleven when we got back and fully exhausted from his day at school, Jamie was passed out asleep in the seat beside me. I slip my hands around his body and hold his body close to me as I walk inside slipping my flip flops from my feet before creeping upstairs. On the way back I took a small detour exploring some of the quiet roads before coming back, I needed a little time to think and clear my head. After placing Jay in bed and covering him with his blankets I crept back downstairs sighing seeing that the small light outside revealed the outline of my mom.

Grabbing a bottle of water I went outside silently sitting beside her as we sat in the dull light a silence enveloping us as she sat with her head in her hands. "I think-" I begin cutting through the silence with my words. "I think you need to explain, tell the truth about all of this." I mumbled looking straight at the sandy beige coloured wall in front of me. "You and I both know our fucking gardener isn't called Christopher; and I know he's not 'just some work colleague'. So tell me." I spoke so clearly and confidently that I surprised myself. Whilst Discussing this with my Mom, I thought I'd be a mess, at least I was when I found out about Dads affair, but then wait I was 13. That's why we moved here after all.

"Not now." Moms voice grumbled flatly as she reached out tithe glass of wine that was resting on glass table in front of us.

"If not now when?" I asked not expecting an answer from her anytime soon. "I go to Abu Dhabi tomorrow morning for three days, you're at work all next week and I don't want to talk about this then, I want to talk about it now." I explained gritting my teeth my eyes not flickering from the wall not too far in front of me as I clenched my jaw.

Mom sighed downing the rest of the pale liquid that was in her wine glass before placing it roughly back on the table. "He's a doctor." she announced suddenly her eyes wide as she looks to me with sympathy. "Same age as me, same interests, same situation..." Mom mumbles making my stomach flip in disgust. same situation? In other words they're both married with kids. I'm waiting for the classic 'he understands me' line you often see them play in the movies, I won't believe it if she uses it. "He's kind and smart and giving." she continued making me scoff.

"Have you heard yourself?" I ask shaking my head and standing. "You sound like you're ten and crushing on some kid in your class. You're almost fifty!" I shout in my hushed tone scrunching my face up. "I don't care if it kills you, whatever you 'have' with this guy needs to stop. Your actions don't just affect you, you're hurting me, dad, this assholes family and not forgetting about Jamie." I snap at my mother who simply sits her eyes focused on me but not daring to look me in the eyes. "I'm not going to tell dad," I mumble looking at my feet and taking a deep breath. From the corner of my eye I see Mom visibly relax her shoulders losing a slight bit of tension before I contribute. "but if I see his name on your calendar, your phone, I get a hint that something's still going on or anything like that... I won't hesitate to say something." I warn not giving her a moment more of my time than what was needed. Within five seconds I was closing the screen door behind me as I almost run to the stairs growing my body up them one by one not taking a second more than I needed.