HEAT •jb•

19~Bipolar

My heart pounded in my chest as I pushed myself up from the mattress looking to Justin as he opened his case roughly. "Y-you heard?" I asked wide eyed, covering my chest the best I could with one arm as I searched the bed for my bra.

"No, I didn't hear Charlie- I'm just fucking psychic." Justin muttered and I could almost sense him rolling his eyes as I picked my bra up from the carpeted floor. I sigh in embarrassment as I hook my bra together and try and cover my whole body with my arms an the sheet of the hotel bed best as possible before I can reach my towel again. I swiftly wrap it around my body keeping my head down as I attempt to flee to the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" Justin's low voice asked as I picked up the stuff I needed to get ready along with my phone.

"To get ready." I mumble my head bowed almost in submission as guilt takes over my body.

"I think you should stay here." Justin mumbled as I slowly shook my head. What would be the point? He's going to do nothing but make me feel like shit. That was a private conversation between me and my friend. She was giving me advice on something I'm blatantly lost on. Is that wrong?

"I-I really think that I should just go." I mumbled unsurely holding my towel up at the front. Justin grabbed my arm softly making me look to him. For the first time I look at his face since he pushed me off his lap. He looks hurt at the words I said this morning and it only makes my heart drop further. "I'm sorry." I whisper quietly looking him in the eyes. "I was doubting myself, doubting you and wanted to ask my friend about it." I spoke quietly still looking at Justin. He only turned away from me making me sigh. What's the point in making me stay but not being able to look me in the eye? Sighing I went back to picking up little bits of my stuff holding them close to my chest as I fumbled trying to do everything at once.

"Stay." His voice was strong yet mumbled and it made every hair on my body stand on edge. Without looking up to him I dropped the clothes and various other bits down so they were on the bottom of the bed and swiftly walked into the bathroom. Looking at my half finished make up in the mirror and running the bright red lipstick along my lips I paused seeing Justin leaning against the door frame. His biceps bulged as he folded his arms in the red and black plaid shirt he was wearing. If we were in any other situation I'd of jumped on him right there.

"This is why I wanted to go back into the girls room Justin, they're not gonna make me feel like shit for voicing my concerns about my relationship." I mumbled rolling my eyes. He's such a pain in the ass when he gets in these moods. It's like he suddenly thinks he's got power over everything and it makes me feel really... small; like an ant. That's why the 'don't ruin it for yourself Charlie.' comment pissed me off so much last week.

"I'm not trying to make you feel like shit." Justin whispered so quietly I thought it might've been to himself. He messed up his previously perfect hair and scrubbed a hand over his face frustratingly.

"Then what?" I sighed beginning to get frustrated with him.

"I really don't know Char. I'm just a little..." Justin seemed to think for a moment before giving up. His shoulders dropped as he paused holding up his hands in surrender. Guilt still ran through my body as I cautiously walked towards him.

"You're upset" I mumble quietly reaching my hands up to the back of his neck where the red and black plaid short sleeved shirts collar was folded awkwardly. Justin quickly grabbed my wrists pushing them down to my sides. "If you're gonna be this much of a bitch about it why the hell did you ask me to stay?" I asked flatly but got no response. I swear I'm just repeating myself. Justin simply looked at the black floor flicking his tongue across his lips. "How the hell did you even hear?" I asked sighing not expecting to get an answer from him.