chapter forty seven. episode fifteen. songs: none. (a/n: make sure to let me know if there are errors!)
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Sue paces back and forth in front of the female Cheerios that sit silently on the bleachers. She points to Santana. "Santana. What does your bracelet say?"
She lifts her arm, showing the copy of the bracelet that every teenager in the room is wearing. "W.W.M.D."
"What would Madonna do?" Sue finishes with her hands on her hips. "Well, the answer to that question is usually date a younger man. So, let's see some arm candy, girls. Sorry, freshmen. You're going to have to start trolling the middle schools. And you know why? 'Cause if you want to be as riveting a performer as Madonna—a skill that will nab us Nationals this year—you're going to have to start thinking like her, acting like her."
"Also, à la Madonna, I will no longer acknowledge that any of you have last names." She points to Becky. "Becky Jackson. From now on, you're just Becky." The girl claps eagerly and Sue nods. "You know, it's like Madonna once said, 'I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.' I'm pretty sure she stole that line from one Sue Sylvester."
When the Cheerios glance at each other, Sue continues. "No, really, she stole it from me. I said it first. Palladium. '87."
The girls all nod at their coach obediently despite not believing her and the woman smirks triumphantly.
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The girls of the Glee Club all sit in the choir room quietly. Quinn's doodling something in her notebook, Camila's texting Jack to plan their next guitar lesson in between Santana and Brittany, Tina's playing with Mercedes' hair, and Rachel glances around anxiously at all of them.
"Can I ask you guys something private?" She asks, her eyes darting around.
Santana nods. "Yes, you should move to Israel."
Camila nudges her and the girl shrugs, not caring. "What's up?"
Rachel pulls up a stool in front of the choir chairs and she sits in it. "It's about dating." Everyone looks at her confusedly. "Not that I'm dating anyone. We all know that Finn and I are no longer an item, and for the sake of the team, I broke up with Jessie. But let's just say I was dating someone."
Will walks into the room, glancing at the girls and listening in while Rachel continues her rant. "Let's just say, hypothetically, we went to a Wiggles concert last Friday night-" Santana and Brittany chuckle. "-and then because my dads weren't home, we went up to my room and started making out."
Quinn makes a face, but Rachel keeps talking nonetheless. "It was erotic and romantic. And then he said 'we should do it' and then I pushed him away. What if he got really crabby and left, and didn't even take home the Care Bear I won him playing Skee Ball?"
"Would you please stop talking?" Quinn asks, rolling her eyes. "You're grossing out my baby."
"I just want to be ready; I know I'm getting older, and these things are going to happen someday, but how do I stop a guy from getting mad at me for saying 'no'?"
Santana huffs. "Just do what I do. Never say 'no'."
"Oh, totally. I mean, what's the worst that can happen." Brittany agrees, but after a sharp look from Quinn, she backtracks. "Sorry, Quinn."
"Camila? What do you think?" Rachel asks, looking to the Cheerio.
The girl shrugs, mindlessly playing with Santana's hand. "Normally, I don't get asked because Santana shuts them down." The girl shrugs again at the mention of her name. "But the other times I've said yes."
The brunette looks to Mercedes next and the girl shakes her head. "Look, girl, don't ask me. The last guy I liked was the mayor of gaytown. And I can't wait to get a guy mad at me for saying 'no'."
"We just have to accept that guys don't care about our feelings." Tina pipes in. "Like, the other day, I was walking with Artie and he told me that in order for us to date, I have to completely change my look."
"That's got to sting," Rachel mutters.
Will stands from his desk, walking over to the girls. "Hey, guys, I'm sorry to interrupt your little sorority, but I couldn't help but overhearing. Are you really having that much boy trouble?"
"You wouldn't understand, Mr. Schue. You're a guy." Quinn tells him and the others nod in response.
"Well, then maybe you should talk to someone else about it. Like Ms. Pillsbury." He offers.
Rachel sighs. "I tried that. She didn't really help."
The bell rings and the girls all grab their bags, heading out of the room.
"Good luck." Camila smiles at Rachel before Santana and Brittany pull her away from the girl. "I was just saying-"
"Sometimes I think your kindness is a curse," Santana tells her.
Camila rolls her eyes, linking arms with the two girls as they walk down the hallway.
