Can't Stop Wanting You. (EDITED)

Chapter 39 - Who is that?

Lily's POV- (18th July)

Tonight I get to have a night in with my friends, we haven't been able to see each other in ages and this is a much needed catch up.

They're all coming round here and Tom is going out for a "lads night" with his group. He's gunna be fucked when he comes in, I can tell already.

I've done the kids washing and now I'm just getting their lunch ready. "Lily, why do you love daddy?" Jacob asks me.

I laugh a little as I look at him, still stiring the soup Toms been making today. "What do you mean? I liked your daddy, and then one day we became boyfriend and girlfriend and now we love each other." I say trying to explain it as best as I can to a 6 year old. I still can't believe he's 6. This year is going by so fast.  

"So because you love each other, you're allowed to have a baby?" He asks looking very confused.

"Yes. We love each other very much, but not everyone who loves each other wants a baby straight away. This baby just wanted to come a little bit earlier" I tell him.

"So... paige is my girlfriend at school, so does that mean that I can have a baby with her? Because I love her?" He asks and I burst out laughing.

"No baby, you can't have a baby with her. You're both too little, when you're an adult you can have a baby with someone you love very much." I try to explain whilst holding in my laughter as much as I can. Gosh he's so cute!

"So how do I give someone a baby?" He asks. Oh man. Where's your dad when I need him?!

"You'll only be able to find that out when you're older baby" I tell him. "It's only adults that get the secret" I say and he smiles excitedly. I try not to laugh, oh baby you'll be just that happy when you're older as well to find out what you can do with a female. He shares that same grin with his daddy. I laugh a little.

"Okay, so I have to wait for a baby.... so if your baby is gonna be daddy's baby, that means your going to be the babys mummy?" He asks looking concerned.

I stop cooking and turn off the hob.

"Yes, I am going to be this baby's mummy." I say giving him my full attention.

"And my daddy, is going to be the baby's daddy too?" He asks, still looking concerned.

I nod, "yes, but he's still you and Els daddy as well." I tell him, thinking that might be his worry.

"I know he's our daddy... but are you going to be my mummy then as well?" He asks and my heart falls into my feet. I know we've had this discussion ages ago, but that got shut down by Tom very quickly.

Shit where is your dad!

"Well, kind of, but we will have to sit with daddy and Els maybe and talk about it.... do you want me to be?" I ask him. My heart feels like it's racing.

"Yeah" he says with a sigh. "I like you being my mummy. And you do what everyone else's mummy's do, so why aren't you my mummy? I know my mummy died cause she was sick, but why aren't you my mummy now?" He says still confused. Aww this poor boy, he's so confused.

I get down to his level. "Look, I'm here to help you and to be there for you, Els and daddy, every single day, but you know this baby is in my tummy? Well you and Els weren't in my tummy, you were born from your mum. That doesn't mean I love you any less, but it means that your mummy is an angel and maybe I can be here to stand in for mummy and help look after you all, but your real mummy is watching you from up in heaven, so it's almost like you have got 2 mummy's. We can talk to daddy and Els though as well, to make sure, is that okay, yeah?" I say feeling emotional.