Easy To See(Sequel to 'Didn't Know It Before' - an EJ Caswell Fanfiction)

Chapter Eight: Can't Have Everything

I sat on my bed, my chin propped up on my knee as EJ paced in front of me, trying to process everything I'd just told him.

"So, this Zacky guy-"

"Ms. Jenn's Ex-boyfriend." I clarified.

"Is getting paid to come to North and put on a Broadway level production and is trying to poach you to come and play the lead?"

"That is the gist of it," I said, "It started in the costume shop, offering me the role and saying I was too talented to play Kelsey, and then he sent me money last night and told me to 'buy myself a coffee on the North High Drama department' because 'Its Better Down where its wetter." He furrowed his eyebrows in confused disgust. "Little Mermaid, its an Under the Sea quote-never mind, its not important. So yeah, that's why I wasn't super psyched for the Menkies, because I just wanted to put the whole thing out of my mind, and now that we're their competition, he's probably just going to try even harder to get me to join them."

"But you won't, right?" He asked. "I mean, they only want you because you're blowing up online right now. That picture we took last night got 100,000 likes overnight."

"Well...yeah, but that's not the only reason." I said, causing him to furrow his eyebrows. I furrowed mine too. "Its also because I'm good, right?"

"Well yeah, Meg, that was a given." He said, sitting down beside me on the bed. I averted my eyes down to my arm, beginning to absently pick at loose strings on my sweater sleeves.

"Is it?" I asked quietly. 

"Oh, Meg," He reached over, putting a hand on my back, "This guy's really gotten into your head, hasn't he?"

"No, not really," I denied, standing up and turning to face him, wrapping my arms around myself, "Its just...you know, I've been thinking, and if Ms. Jenn really thought I was any good...wouldn't she have tried to give me a bigger part?"

"Babe, you auditioned for Kelsey. That's the part you wanted-"

"Yeah, it was, but it was also the part she gave me after taking one look at me, and even after hearing me sing, she didn't even consider casting me as someone else." I pointed out. he stared at me for a long moment.

"Isn't this coming from the same girl who told me that Chad was an underrated character and that I'd do a great job playing him?" He asked. "A few months ago-Heck, probably even a few days ago, you would've told me that all roles are important roles and they're only as good and as memorable as the actor's portrayal of them, and now Kelsey isn't good enough for you?"

"No, its not that! And I don't really need your help feeling guilty about this right now, thank you very much," I shot back, " The problem, is that I'm worried that Zack is right and Ms. Jenn cast me as Kelsey because she doesn't think I'm talented enough for anything else, and I'm scared that that's going to be reflected in the casting choices for Beauty and the Beast." He sighed, shaking his head. 

"Meg-"

"No, you know what, forget it. This whole thing is stupid, I shouldn't have told you." I said, walking over to my desk and sitting down in front of my abandoned song writing. I leaned my head on my hand, trying to hold back frustrated and guilty tears over this whole situation.

EJ followed me over, leaning against my desk beside me. I just picked up my pencil and pulled my sheet music towards me, refusing to look at him.

"Megan..." He said softly.

"I know that I have no reason to feel this way," I said, slapping my pencil down and looking up at him, "I know, that its stupid and irrational, and that I'm stupid and irrational for thinking it-"