Together Or Apart

33. Stage 5

"Take a seat. It's a lot to digest sweetheart." My Dad says to me in a calm tone as he places his hand on the small of my back and guides me over to the chair beside where my mother is receiving her treatment. 

I shake my head and take a step away from him. "No, just tell me. I can't sit. Sydney is down the hall."

He frowns at me. "Is she alright?"

My mother gasps. "What happened to Syd? Is she okay?"

I look between the two of them while nodding my head and swallow the lump in my throat that formed the second I entered the room. I stare at my weak mother who lays limply in the bed as the tubes connected to her body remove the toxins from inside her body. 

"Yeah, she's okay now. She was stung by a bluebottle and had an allergic reaction to it. She is asleep and rest will be good for her because it was a traumatic experience for the sweet angel. I feel horrible, I should have kept her closer to the shore where I could see the sand beneath the water."

My Dad pulls me into a hug and slowly pats my back to calm me down. "Don't put the blame on yourself. If I had a dollar for each time I stepped on a bluey down at the beach in my lifetime, I'd be able to buy a new Ferrari."

"Come on Dad, that's a bit of a stretch."

"No more cars because all of our money is going towards medical bills."

I walk over to my Mum and reach for her hand. "Will it hurt if I touch you?"

She shakes her head and takes hold of my hand. I stare down at her pale hand which is slightly purple from her treatment. 

"Mum, whatever it costs. I will pay for it. I have the money."

"Absolutely not. We can afford it. I wouldn't expect that of you." She says to me. 

"How long have you known? How did you find out? Why didn't you tell me?"

My Dad holds his hand out to me. "Slow down. One question at a time."

Mum lets out a half laugh, trying to see light in this unfortunate situation. "About a month ago. The signs had been there for a while but I ignored them, thinking it was from stress from everyday life. Fatigue, nausea and loss of appetite. Your father knew something was up when I was only having a cup of tea and a biscuit all day."

This saddens me to hear. The more I look at her, the more drained her face looks from losing weight. She has looked really tired lately and hasn't seemed herself. I don't know how I couldn't see that there was something seriously wrong with her. I was too caught up in my own problems that I didn't notice that my poor mother was suffering. 

"My ankles were swelling badly and I kept vomiting. We knew something was up, so we came straight to the hospital and after running tests, I received the diagnosis the next day."

"It's for your kidney's right? How bad is it Mum?"

"My body is so extra that it skipped stages 1-4 and went straight to 5. Honey, I have stage chronic kidney disease and unless I have a kidney transplant then the next 5-10 years of my life involve regular trips to this place for a hot date with this machine."

I lean forwards and hug her. I close my eyes and cry into my Mum's shoulder as she weakly runs her hands through my hair. 

"I'm so sorry Mum. I'm sorry that this has happened to you."

"Life can be shit sometimes but things could be worse, right?"

"That's right love." Dad smiles at Mum. I stare between the two of them and more tears flow from my eyes because I know how much they love each other. They have the strongest kind of love and I know how scared my Dad would be, knowing she could be taken from him sooner than any of us had imagined. Life isn't fair at all.