Together Or Apart

39. Breakdown

At 3:30am, Harry called me while drunk and confused. He was baffling on, telling me how much he loved me and how he missed having his party-partner by his side. I haven't been his party-partner in a long time. 

After confessing his love to me, Harry called me a grandma because I am always in bed by 9pm now. It was stupid drunk talk, but there are always sober thoughts behind drunken comments. I asked him of his location and he didn't know where he was. I asked him to put Paddy on the phone, but he wouldn't. He also wouldn't get into the taxi that Paddy hailed down. 

Since I was worried about him and just wanted him to get home safely, Paddy texted me their location and I went to pick them up. I got the girls out of bed and thankfully they remained asleep in the car. After picking them up, I dropped Paddy to his hotel and brought Harry home. He fell asleep in the car on the way home and slept in this morning while I was up with the girls.

I am exhausted myself from a lack of sleep. I am worried that I am going to chop off a finger as I prepare lunch for London by slicing up some vegetables. 

"What are we doing today?" Harry asks me as he joins me in the kitchen with wet hair. He looks like he just showered. 

"Not much. You wouldn't feel up to doing anything though because I am sure your head is pounding."

"I'll be fine."

"So how was last night?" I ask him.

"I had a good time."

"I'm glad you did."

Harry eyes me suspiciously. "Why do I sense sarcasm?"

I let out a sigh. "I'm not. I just... don't worry."

"Go and say it. Whatever you're thinking. You have been shitty all morning, so I know that something is bothering you. What have I done wrong this time?"

"I'm tired Harry, that's why I am in a mood. I am exhausted. You slept in while I was up early with the girls so you wouldn't know."

"It was my fucking birthday. I'm not allowed to enjoy myself on the one night a year that is mine?"

"It's not like you haven't just come off a tour, Harry. You have been partying for months. I understand that it is your birthday and you want to enjoy yourself, but you are a father now. Take some responsibility. Don't call me at half past three in the morning, drunk off your face and having no fucking idea where you are. I dragged your two kids who were sound asleep, into the car to come get you."

"I didn't ask you to do that."

"But I did do it Harry, because I was worried about you. As your fiancé, I worry about you. I pick up the ring that is attached to my necklace chain."

"Does this even mean anything to you? Do you even want to get married?"

"Oh come on now, don't be ridiculous. You are mad and you're just trying to add fuel to the fire."

"I am being serious Harry. You always say to me how you can't wait to marry me, but what effort are you putting into the wedding planning? Every time I tell you that we need to sit down and plan some things, you say that now isn't a good time or you get distracted and we end up getting nowhere."

"Alright, name a date Hailey. When do you want to get married? Ten months from now? Two weeks from now? Fuck, I'll marry you this afternoon if you want to. The wedding details aren't important to me Hailey. All I care about is making you my wife."

"That hurts Harry. To me, the wedding day is our special day. Sure, the most important aspect of the day is us officially becoming husband and wife. But the special location we choose, the decorations that symbolise us, tasting a thousand cakes until we find one we like, choosing who to invite, saying our vows, choosing our dress and suit... those things are so important."