Together Or Apart

55. I'll Move

I walk down the stairs, anxiously twiddling my fingers and ignoring the butterflies flying about inside of me. This conversation can either go amazing, or so horrible that Harry never wants anything to do with me again. 

Harry is still seated on the lounge and his body language is the exact same as it were earlier. He is sitting on the lounge with his glass in his hand, staring at the wall on the opposite side of the room. I take the glass of water from his hand and place it on the floor beside him. I gently nudge his leg and he slowly lowers it while staring up at me confusedly. 

"What?"

Without saying a word, I bend down and pull him into a hug. At first his body is tense and he doesn't move, but eventually his shoulders relax and he wraps his arms around my back. He is gentle and doesn't hold me firmly. Probably because he is still unsure as to why I am hugging him. 

"Did you really mean that?" I ask, pulling away from him and sitting down beside him on the lounge. 

"What are you talking about Hailey?"

"Those girls will always be your family, but you and I are no longer. All that we have together is them. That's it." I repeat his words from earlier which cut through me like a knife. Honestly, that was just as painful as labour. No it wasn't, I'm being dramatic. But it still bloody hurt hearing him say that. 

"No, of course not. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it. Though that is how I feel. I feel like you don't want anything to do with me."

"Harry, the reason why I keep trying to create distance between us is because of this." I motion between the two of us. "All we do is argue."

"I don't want to argue with you. You just make me mad and then I say things that I don't really mean." He lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry Hailey. How can we stop being like this? I don't want to argue with you all the time."

"I feel like we have had this conversation a billion times, yet we get nowhere."

Harry nods his head in agreement. "We never used to argue when we were friends. Only when you read my journal."

I laugh at him. "And I learnt my lesson never to do that again." 

We both smile, thinking of the memories from all those years ago. We really have known each other for a long time. I almost don't remember what my life was like without him being in it. All of my most positive childhood memories involve Harry. 

"I'll move to London."

His head whips around in pure shock, almost giving himself whiplash. "I'm sorry, I don't think I am hearing properly. Repeat that again?"

"I said I'll move to London."

Harry's mouth widens in shock and soon it changes to a smile, but then quickly into a concerned frown. "I don't understand. I thought that was completely off the cards for you?"

"Obviously it's not something I am overjoyed about, but I have been thinking long and hard about it. I would rather put my daughters' happiness first before my own. I briefly spoke to London about it and she said she would be happy to move. Sydney is still young and while she might be a bit confused and disoriented, she will eventually adapt because she won't remember much, if any of her life in Australia. But London goes to school and has a group of friends. It would effect her more."

"Hailey, I don't want to pressure you into moving. Of course I will be thrilled if you do come, but I have experienced it myself. It is not worth being somewhere you don't want to be. You will only become more and more unhappy. Look at me, I turned into an alcoholic."

"Then I will deal with that if it comes to it. I have to give it a shot. Clearly you are unhappy here and I don't want us to go through a nasty court battle. I know how it is going to end. Our girls will end up being shipped back and forth between Sydney and London. That's not a good lifestyle."