transformers prime helluva boss crossover 2

chapter 13: family... and exes

It's been a week and Hashtag was the first out of the new terrans to get an alt-mode which allowed her to connect to the entire Internet.

Felicity: well introducing Leela to my parents was awkward.

Jawbreaker: What happened?

Felicity: my father was completely accepting but my mother was a bitch.

The scene then cuts to a flashback to after Felicity introduced her parents to her girlfriend Leela who was in her human disguise at the time, felicity's father was expecting but her mother and sister were completely against it.

Ruth: you're gay!

Felicity: first of all mom I'm bisexual.

Heather: yeah gay.

Ruth: my friends have given you their sons as options for you to marry.

Felicity: they were all fucking sexist.

Ruth: and you pick this rando?

Felicity: what's wrong with her?

Ruth: that disgusting appearance, those clothes and that long and horribly unwashed hair! But my friend Deirdre Robespierre's son Dylan would be perfect for you to marry immediately.

Felicity: I know Rich women give their sons the stupidest names of all time but Dylan? If I wanted to cock slam a Dylan I would go to Middle School detention!

Ruth: You will marry Deirdre's oldest son Dylan as soon as possible!

Felicity: her oldest son!? Were chase and Tyler taken? Show me an adult man named Dylan. YOU FUCKING CAN'T THEY'RE ALL IN PRISON FOR DUI'S BY THE TIME AND THEY'RE 19!!!

Ruth: I don't know how you know much about Dylan's past but after you two are married he requested five children.

Felicity: WHAT!?!

Leela: FIVE CHILDREN DO YOU KNOW HOW PAINFUL THAT IS GOING TO BE YOU AIN'T PUSHING OUT THOSE FIVE INFANTS SHE IS AND DO YOU KNOW HOW TIRED SHE'LL FUCKING BE!?!

Ruth: with the genetics their children would be perfect.

Felicity: You are only care if the children are "perfect" But not when I'm in pain or they all come out retarded or probably the most susceptible to every single disease in the universe?

Ruth: Deirdre Robespierre's son is the last candidate for your arranged marriage and if you don't marry him now the Evelyn family reputation will be ruined.

Felicity: It was ruined when you gave birth to this bitch. *Points at heather*

Heather: mother stop her she's too savage.

Felicity: And by Savage you mean set up with your fake ass nose!?!

Heather: this nose is completely real little sister.

Felicity: It was a fat plump potato back when you were born.

Ruth: we don't even know this girl's last name.

Leela: it's goetia and your daughter is very mature for her age despite of you.

Ruth: Layla.

Leela: Leela.

Ruth: Ruth What did I do for you to put despite of you in that sentence?

Leela: You literally took 86% of everything in the divorce forcing your husband and your daughter to move all the way over here in a rusty ass shitty ass car!