Allegiance | Kylo Ren

V

I lie stiffly in my bed, trying to steady my heartrate. I closed my eyes and emitted a slow breath, fighting to calm my nerves.

Lord Ren stirred, the rustle of his clothes against the sheets enough to make my heart stop altogether. Slowly, he sat up, and I was suddenly glad I had deactivated the heart monitor. I didn't insult him by pretending to be asleep; the tension in the room made it clear that we were both conscious, despite me still feeling the tail end of my drugs and his suffering from blood loss. Instead, I stared straight ahead at the ceiling that I had become so familiar with.

It was a while before either of us spoke.

"How are you feeling?" I hated the quiver in my voice.

He didn't respond. I could feel his resentment at having to share a room with me—it was practically radiating off him. I wanted to apologize somehow for my presence, for taking his room, but that involved speaking again and at the moment I wasn't entirely sure if that was possible.

I felt a fresh wave of fear wash over me. He's going to kill me.

He let out a soft groan, running his fingers through his long curls. "I'm not going to kill you."

My breath hitched in my throat. Can he read my—

"Yes."

Well, shit.

He made a quiet sound that I could've sworn sounded like a laugh. But I was certain it wasn't, it couldn't have been.

We fell back into silence.

I found myself wondering about his wound. It was long, ragged, and deep. Not a hit from a blaster, or even a knife wound. What could it have been?

"Lightsaber." Came his answer moments later.

"Would you stop that?" I snapped before I knew what I was doing. As soon as the words left my mouth, I stiffened, fear and regret flooding through me. I opened my mouth to apologize, but no sound came out.

The door opened. Mason stood in the doorway, seeming to sense the overwhelming tension that threatened to choke everyone in the room. After a deep breath, he approached my bedside.

"It's time for a check on your progress." He informed me quietly, his back to Lord Ren. I nodded, and he used a control button to elevate the back of my bed so I was in a sitting position. It was a relief to not be lying down for once, though the change of blood flow in my head clouded my vision momentarily.

With soft hands, Mason lifted the hem of my hospital shirt to examine the stitches beneath. The moment the air met my skin, I felt exposed, vulnerable, and I became acutely conscious of Lord Ren's presence less than ten feet away.

Mason gave me an empathetic look, as if he could read my thoughts, and I met his eyes uneasily. His fingers ran over the bumpy stitches holding pieces of my burnt skin together, and I felt goosebumps rise on my arms.

"It looks mostly good, although you've managed to tear out the two on the end." Mason sounded a bit exasperated.

"Apparently I have a talent for doing that." I craned my neck to examine my torso. It wasn't a pretty sight; my skin was bruised badly, dappled with purple and yellow blotches, and the burned patches were peeling around the edges. Two intersecting lines of stitches held the mess together, the vertical line stretching from the bottom of my ribcage to my hipbone, and the horizontal line, slightly shorter, crossed through the middle of the other, running across the center of my stomach. Sure enough, the two bottom stitches near my hip were open, a small hole showing through the skin.

I wrinkled my nose, running my fingers over the torn stitches. "Gross."

Mason good-naturedly slapped my hand away, pulling out new pieces of wire and pliers from the drawer in my bedside table. He carefully measured and cut two replacement pieces, placing the excess on the table.

"This may sting a little," he warned. "Do you want some numbing cream first?"

I shook my head, remembering Lord Ren's refusal of painkillers earlier. "I'll be fine."

Mason looked a little disconcerted, but he continued anyway. I watched intently as he wiped my skin with a disinfectant wipe, then carefully poked the wire through. I bit back a sharp gasp, and he gave me a concerned look. "Change your mind?"

I shook my head stubbornly, but still made a face as he completed the first stitch, tying it in a neat knot using the pliers. I braced myself for the second stitch, still watching the doctor work. The second hurt just as bad as the first, but I managed to avoid making any noise. Mason examined his handiwork, then deposited his materials back into the drawer.

"Let's see how long we can go without tearing any stitches this time." He flashed a grin. "It'll be a challenge for you, I know, but I believe you can do it."

I gave his shoulder a little shove, but couldn't keep myself from reciprocating his smile. "Thanks, Mason."

"Anytime." He paused in the doorway. "Do you need anything else?" His gaze flickered over my roommate, and I gave him a knowing look, shaking my head. "Alright, I'm going to clock out for the night, then." He closed the door quietly behind him.

I realized then that I had no idea what time it was. There were no clocks in the room. I had assumed it was morning, but apparently I was very wrong.

"Goodnight." I called, and I heard his muffled reply through the door. I smiled a bit to myself, grateful that I had such a friendly doctor.

The sound of a long exhale from the bed next to me made me look over. Lord Ren was staring at the ceiling, his face creased in a frown.

Feeling a surge of courage, I spoke. "Looks like you're stuck with me for the night." I intended it as a joke, but his expression did not change, and I felt my spirits fall. "Sorry about that."

His eyes darted in my general direction, but did not quite reach me. He absentmindedly held a hand to his side, betraying the pain he had been pretending not to feel. I felt a stroke of pity for him, which I'm sure he did not want, but I said nothing and instead laid back and tried to sleep.