Allegiance | Kylo Ren

XLVIII

I was confined to my room, but for some reason I didn't feel like a prisoner. The room was comfortable; it was small, but it was all my own, and the quiet allowed me to explore my own thoughts.

It was only a matter of time before Kylo noticed I was missing, if he hadn't noticed already. Clearly, he hadn't caught the traitor—Finn—and I knew he would be upset by that. It wouldn't take him long to figure out what had happened, that this was all planned and executed perfectly to separate us. I closed my eyes, wondering how we had been so blind to what was happening. We were foolish, blinded by our desperate need to capture Finn, and so we were reckless.

The sound of the door opening caused me to look up, breaking out of my stream of consciousness.

A woman entered the room. Her face was marked by wrinkles, but her eyes were sharp and intelligent as she gazed at me. Her hair was twisted into a soft ring over her head.

"Hello." Her voice was soft. She took a seat in the chair in the corner, dragging it with her a few steps so she would be closer to me. She didn't seem at all afraid or nervous as she looked at me.

"Hi." I responded cautiously.

"My name is Leia Organa."

My eyes widened, but I didn't speak. I had heard much of the leader of the Resistance, but I had never pictured her like this. She seemed so soft looking.

"I know you are probably scared." She continued. "But I just want to talk to you. It had come to our attention that you shared a certain bond with your leader, and it was not until recently that I believe we have discovered the nature of that bond."

I eyed her, not entirely liking what she was implying but not arguing either.

"We don't wish to hurt you. But we believe we can use you to put an end to this war."

"The longer you keep me here, the more danger you are in." I informed her evenly. "Kylo has definitely noticed my absence by now. He is already angry that we lost the traitor again, and losing me will only fuel that anger."

Her eyes searched my face as I spoke.

I leaned forward, trying to convey my point as clearly as possible. "He will not rest until he finds me. And when he does, he will destroy everything and everyone that worked to take me away from him."

"Do you love him?" She tilted her head to the side slightly.

I was caught off guard by the question, and it took me a moment to formulate a response. "He is my closest friend."

"What does that mean to you?"

"Yes, I love him." I sighed, breaking eye contact. But not in the way that you think.

"And he loves you?" I was startled by the light of hope in her expression.

"I am all he has." My answer was simple.

Leia nodded slowly, absorbing my words. We were quiet for a moment before she spoke.

"I've known him his entire life, you know." I frowned at her words, but allowed her to continue uninterrupted. "Even when he was young, he struggled to make friends. He was always an outsider—the other children seemed to be intimidated by him. It's good to hear that he has you."

The image of a young Kylo with rounder features and kinder eyes flooded my mind. I smiled softly at the idea, wishing I could have known him in his youth.

"He wasn't always Kylo Ren." Leia's eyes misted over, and she seemed to be lost in memory. "Once he was Ben. Just Ben. My Ben."

Ben. The memory of Kylo musing about having known a Ben once came to mind.

"You're his mother, aren't you?" The idea struck me, and my lips felt numb as the words left my mouth.

She nodded, a knowing smile on her face. "I am."

We fell into another silence, both of us deep in mazes of thought. I stared down at my lap, finding it hard to believe that the kind woman in front of me could have created someone like Kylo.

"They tell me your name is Calia." Leia's voice was sharp with interest.

I nodded.

"Did he give you that name?"

I nodded again, frowning slightly. "How did you know?"

She smiled softly. "He was trained alongside a girl named Calia. She was a wonderful girl, always so kind to Ben even when the others weren't. He valued her friendship greatly. Whenever he wrote home, he would always mention her and how she treated him so kindly."

"Yes, he told me about Calia. What happened to her?" I almost didn't want to hear the answer.

"She was killed." Leia's smile disappeared. "By Kylo Ren."

My heart plummeted, disbelief cloaking my face. I stared down at my feet, realizing why he had never told me that part of the story.

"You tell me that he is your closest friend." The older woman moved to settle on the bed next to me. "So you know him well. Tell me, do you think you have ever seen glimpses of Ben? Do you think he is still alive?" Her eyes sparkled with hope.

My mind whirled, recalling memories of my dark-haired friend. I had seen him be ruthless and cruel, cutting down others without hesitation. But I had also witnessed a different side of him, a side that thought the sounds I made were funny and had an innate distrust for doctors.

I nodded slowly. "I think I have."

Leia's eyes gleamed with satisfaction, and she stood up. "Thank you."