Allegiance | Kylo Ren

LXXXI

Time seemed to race forward, and suddenly I found myself in a different memory.

She stared at me from her bed, gentle concern sparkling in her pale eyes.

"Kylo, you're hurt again." Her voice was velvety, despite the tremor that ran through it.

"No, I'm not." I retorted, not wanting those idiotic doctors to return any time soon.

To my surprise, she left her bed—with considerable effort—and hobbled to the door, probably to call back a doctor. I stopped her gently, using the Force to seal the door.

"You need a doctor." She protested. I denied it again, and she started towards me. As she neared, I caught a better look at her face. I felt my heart beat a bit faster in my chest as she stood above me, but I ignored it.

After a brief hesitation, she lifted the hem of my shirt with cold, shaking fingers and examined the open wound beneath. I was caught off guard by so casual an action, and I wasn't sure why I wasn't sending her flying into a wall for touching me.

Somehow I convinced her to redo my stitches, figuring that it was better than calling back the inept medics from before. I watched her face as she worked, appreciating the gentle slope of her nose and the way her dark eyelashes fluttered as her eyes scanned her work. She was beautiful, despite her tousled hair and flushed complexion.

My skin cried out in protest as she finished and pulled away, losing contact between us. Her touch was soft, delicate, comforting.

Time flew forward again.

I stormed down the hall, fuming about something Hux had said—I couldn't even remember what it was, I could only remember how angry it made me. I glanced up in time to see a trooper in my path, and with a surge of frustration, I set it sliding to the wall, out of my path.

It muttered something, and I whipped around to face it. Disrespect from a trooper was the last thing I needed right now.

"What did you just say to me, trooper?" I snarled.

It started to speak, but I didn't wait to hear what it had to say. I lifted my hand and used the Force to close its airway. It hovered in the air, clawing at its neck and fighting to breathe.

For some reason, I felt an urge to look inside its mind, and when I did, I dropped her instantly.

What had I done?

I raced to her side as she pulled off her helmet, her face red from lack of oxygen.

"Are you alright?" I wanted to help, but didn't know how.

She nodded wordlessly, her chest heaving as she regained her breath.

I wanted to apologize, to hold her close and comfort her, but I knew I couldn't. Instead, I pushed that side of me away and said something disdainful:

"That was stupid of you. I can't tell you apart from the other troopers when you're fully dressed."

"It's not my fault your instinct is to strangle everyone who talks to you!" She gasped, and it took everything I had not to smile at her attitude.

It was at that moment that I decided this trooper meant something to me.

The memory ended, and suddenly I was standing in the center of a burning city, the one the First Order rampaged on my second mission.