Slip

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This was inspired by Kiwi483 There's No Way I Could Let You Go on fanfiction.net. This did not happen in the fanfiction, but Emily had asked something in it, sending me the idea. I also got confused when watching the recent episode because I thought what happened in Kiwi483's fanfic happened on the show. Don't you hate it when that happened? Anyways, I have spent enough time on the introduction, so I am going to jump into the fanfic.

. . .

Spencer wasn't expecting to see Toby at her door. She knew he was still shaken up Yvonne being attacked, and she couldn't help but feel guilty. However, there was a larger amount of the guilt she felt that blamed Emily. Spencer would never admit those words.

In her shocked state, she muttered some unintelligent words. She wasn't quite sure what she said, but it was somethings like: "Toby, hi, come in."

Next thing she knew, he was walking inside, and he was shuffling, an obvious sign he was nervous.

"So, I, uh, have been thinking a lot about what you said, today," Toby said. Spencer listened, nervous that he actually might leave. She had just said that to make him realize. She was scared to be alone. Marco was . . . somewhat there, but she didn't want to pull in another cop for her mistakes. Anyways, they weren't even emotionally attached. They were just a drunken hook-up. Spencer zoned back in when he said something about being honest with her.

"Okay," Spencer said, so quietly. She was scared.

"I didn't start building the house for Yvonne," he stated. Spencer's mind went wild. Who? She asked herself. "I was building it for you."

Time froze for Spencer. Toby kept talking, but Spencer couldn't hear anything. Just the last six words. Her heart was racing, and her hands were sweaty. She prayed to God he wasn't going to give her false hope. However, her body was working on impulse. She had no idea what Toby had said minutes before, she heard something about family.

He was about to say something else, before Spencer found herself cupping his cheeks and kissing somewhat roughly. She was surprised with herself, she didn't even realize she was walking towards him. Toby made a surprised noise when she kissed him, and he lost balance, causing him to hit the couch, and Spencer found herself falling with him. Her mind was shut off, and she was running on impulse.

When Spencer's mind caught up with her actions, she quickly pulled away. Toby didn't have moment to process anything that was happening, and when he did, she was pulling away. Toby's eyes were wide, and Spencer's expression matched his.

"I, uh, don't know what just happened. It was like my mind turned off," she stuttered. She sounded like a thirteen year old. Then she moved to a chair, and she covered her face with her hands. She knew Toby was telling her goodbye. He couldn't have been honest with her if he wasn't. "My mind has been doing that a lot lately."

Toby found himself walking over to her. Like she did so long ago, he kneeled in front of her and forced her to look at him. His heart dropped when he saw the tears forming in her eyes.

"I mean, I wasn't like this before," she said, and they both knew she was about to go on a rant. "It was after I started seeing Caleb. It's like logic went out the window and I didn't even think Caleb would go back to Hanna."

Toby didn't know that, and his blood boiled at the thought. He assumed it was when they, Hanna and Caleb, were alone. Caleb had yelled at Spencer that night. Everything was starting to make sense.

"And then this whole other thing and then there was my stupid, drunk, self who hooked up with Marco."

Toby then understood Marco's interest in Spencer, and why he was so eager to cross Spencer's name off the list. He also understood the awkward tension when Spencer first found out he was a cop.

"I've never been able to get over you," she rambled on, "I've tried. But it was like my heart turned off and nothing felt the same. Caleb was the only one who made me feel again, and he broke my heart."

"Spence," he trailed off. He hated seeing her so distressed.

"Not the mention my intake of alcohol has risen like fifteen percent. I have no job. My friend's sister is dead. I have no boyfriend. And my friends are pissed at me."

The beginning stayed in Toby's mind. He remembered Spencer's previous substance abuse, and how Jason had similar issues.

"And you're leaving aren't you?" she spoke. Toby, still kneeling in between her legs, said nothing. "And you are going to leave with Yvonne?" Again, Toby said nothing. "So you just drop a bomb like that, basically telling me you were still in love with me, and then you are going to leave?"

"It's more complicated than that," he sighed. "Yvonne's pregnant."

"Oh my damn, I kissed an expecting father. I'm a horrible person."

"No, Spencer, you aren't. You are the nicest and most loyal person I know. Disregarding that silent period we had six years ago."

"I thought we were broken up, by the way."

"I made it sound like we were."

"Why are you suddenly leaving. I know, now, she's pregnant. But why come tell me you were building the house for me?"

"I just . . . I don't know."

"Are you still in love with me?"

"Yvonne is someone I can't live without. She . . . gives me safety."

Spencer nearly flinched at the wording; however, she noticed he didn't answer her question.

"I will always love you, Spence. You were the first person to really see me as me. You always believed in me no matter how much I messed up, and you are my number one gal."

"Are?"

"You will always be. Yvonne . . . she's my safety net. She gives normality."

"I never wanted to pull you into this."

"I know. Emily told me."

They sat in silence for a while after that. Toby wanted to stay, but he couldn't abandon Yvonne.

"I have to go now, we leave tomorrow."

Spencer nodded, cupping Toby's cheeks. She kissed his forehead, as a goodbye.

"Maybe in another life?" Toby offered.

"Maybe in another life."

Toby left, and Spencer felt her heart shatter when she heard the truck drive away. She got up, spilling her tea out. She walked over to her mini bar. She thought she should give herself a slip. She needed it.

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