No one's Fault

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Hi. I went off the face of the internet as I was trying to grief for my friend who had died. The funeral is coming up, and I'm nervous. I will start updating more frequently, once everything makes sense again. Dedicated to 

-Kat

Toby got home to Spencer sitting in his loft. Spencer never visited Toby during the week unless there was something serious happening. So when Toby saw Spencer sitting with red eyes and pale skin, he assumed the worst.

"Spence, why are you here? Don't you have class?" Toby asked, sitting in front of her. His heart ached at how Spencer appeared. She looked like a mess.

"Remember that night we . . . had sex and you didn't have anything, but I was on birth control, so I said we would be fine?" Spencer asked. Her voice was quiet. Toby's anxiousness grew as she spoke. "Well, I had food poisoning that morning from eggs Max cooked. So when I got sick, the pill went with the messy vomit."

Toby remembered the night. Spencer came down to Rosewood for the weekend. She told Toby she was still recovering from food poisoning that morning. They didn't plan on having sex that evening, but they ended up having a glass of wine, and one thing led to another. However, it was nearly two months ago. Toby didn't know why she was bringing the night up.

"Spence, what are you saying?"

"I ended up missing my period, and I just thought it was from the anxiety pill I was put on four months ago. It happened with the antidepressants and the sleeping pills. Well two months came along . . . and I still was late."

Toby knew Spencer was rambling at this point. He was drawing his own conclusions. His heart was thumping as he waited for Spencer to prove his theory or prove him wrong.

"I'm pregnant."

Toby's heart stopped. There was a part of him that was thrilled. However the main part of him was terrified. Toby didn't want to be a father. He was only twenty years old, and he was not ready. He wanted to have children with Spencer, but they both planned to wait until after college. "You're what?" Toby asked, dumbly.

Spencer nodded, "Yes," she said, a sob slipping from her lips. "I'm pregnant."

"Why didn't you tell me when you were taking the test? I would have been there for you."

"I didn't want it to be true, and you being there would make it seem more real than a dream," Spencer whispered. She pulled her knees to her chest. "I can't have a baby! I'm still in college! I can't drop out, my parents would kill me! I could get kicked out of school or I could lose my scholarship!" Spencer said, tears slipping down her cheeks. "I can't carry this baby! I'm too young. I'm barely even over Charlotte! How can I raise a child and still get panic attacks when my phone chimes or when I see a gun or when I see a black hoodie or red coat!"

"Spencer," Toby said, pulling her close to him. He sat next to her, holding her. He let her cry on his chest, and her heart twisted at the sound of her panic.

"I can barely afford to feed myself, how can I feed another mouth? Toby, what are we going to do? I'm so scared."

"Everything will be okay, I promise," Toby mumbled to her, kissing her head.

"I don't want it. I do not want this baby," she said, sitting up. She pulled her body away from Toby. "I want an abortion."

"Spence . . ."

"No! You get the easy part! You get to be a father but you don't have college, scholarships, how the school sees you, and everything else riding on you. My parents will disown me if they find out, and they will tell me you can't see me anymore. If I don't they will take my trust fund, and I will have to change my last name, and it will not be allowed to be yours," Spencer said, standing. She started pacing. "I can't afford to get kicked out of school or anything in those sorts."

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