Trade

Chapter 4. Lonely.

Moses McKinley

"You haven't said much Moses. You want to make your marriage work, don't you?" The couples therapist Camry went and found ask me. I ran my hand up and down the soft arm of the couch I sat on and looked at my wife briefly who placed her hand on my shoulder like she was really trying to comfort me.

"I don't. Every time I start to feel something for her something stops me and I end up hating her and resenting her. It's started to get worse lately" I told the woman being upfront. She didn't seem shocked nor did she look at me as if what I felt was wrong.

"Camry said you didn't want your daughter at first. You offered her a lot of money to get an abortion and she kept it anyway. I know children can cause a lot of resentment in relationships when they aren't planned" She explained and Camry sighed big and rolled her eyes.

"How do you think Sienna would feel if she grew up and found out you resented her? You got me pregnant, I didn't force you into anything" Camry responded.

"I love my daughter. You're right she didn't ask to be here but that doesn't mean that I can't be angry about it. You barely take care of her and leave the nanny's doing everything. I feel like you kept her because you wanted to be spiteful not out of love or because you really wanted her" I said turning to look at my wife.

Camry seemed shocked at my words and looked at the therapist who was silent and waiting for us to continue our conversation without getting involved.

"You think I needed to trap you? Why are we even still talking about this? She's here and she is not going anywhere so man the fuck up Moses!" Camry snapped growing defensive.

"We're still talking about it because you know I didn't want this baby. I don't want any kids period and it's really getting to me and fucking with my head. On one hand I love my child because she's mine but on the other hand i'm just depressed as hell" I said resting my head back.

"Your feelings are valid. Men just like women can get depressed after a baby is born, it lowers sex drive and can affect relationships" The therapist explained and Camry laughed from beside me.

"He doesn't have a problem sticking his dick in anything at all. He fucks men and women" Camry muttered and I sat up.

"You don't know what you're talking about. Shut up!" I snapped rubbing my chin. Camry grew a smile as she watched me squirm.

"He had a boyfriend a few years ago. He's afraid i'm going to out him when some people already know about him, they're just afraid to ask him because they know he'll fight anyone who even questions his manhood. You can't run from the past forever" She teased.

"Boyfriend? Moses would you like to start from the beginning so that I could get a better understanding?" The woman questioned and Camry smiled.

"That's a bit too personal, innit? Anyway he's irrelevant now, that's over and it'll never happen again" I responded growing irritated.

"You sound hurt" Camry said as she looked me over. I sighed and stood up ending this shit before I hurt her feelings.

"As it stands right now I don't know if I want this marriage to work. We got married for the wrong reasons and our issues continue to get worse" I called over my shoulder as I opened the door and walked out slamming it behind me.