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no matter how hard i tried
i couldn’t get her cinnamon scent,
her soft skin against mine,
her hair falling past my face
out of my head.
i knew everything was my fault
i’d gone ahead and ruined it
and my whole life i’d spent the years blaming my misfortune on
death
the world
uncontrollable circumstances.
but this time
it was i who deserved the blame.
i cried far too long to be healthy
i cried far longer than i ever have before.
what am i supposed to do?
she probably hates me.
she’ll never stay friends with me now.
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it was nearing midnight when i sat up and turned to my window.
the curtains were still open
shifting in the breeze.
the stars looked as beautiful as ever
but it only made me cry again
because they reminded me that nothing has changed.
they were the same stars i’d gazed at
after Okaasan died.
the same stars i’d admired
alone every night
and the same stars underneath which
i’d sat with a beautiful person
and had my first kiss.
the same stars which i now looked at
alone
again.
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YOU ARE READING
Through Viridian Seas
Short Story❝ the world has taken away who i really am. who i want to be. ❞ in which loneliness is washed away by a sea of blue-green beauty. ❄girlxgirl❄a cellphone novel❄complete❄ #152 in short story | 28/7/17 © 2017 salmonskinroll written 21/5 to 27/7/17
