•38•

161 19 0
                                    

•••

Imagine that feeling, that moment where you realize you aren’t strong enough to break free when that person grabs your wrist, and imagine that feeling applied to your whole body. Your arms, legs, voice, everything…become useless.

Your body isn’t even your body anymore. It belongs to them. And not only your body, but everything you are is exposed and ripped away from you. And there’s nothing for you to do except... Cry?

To be raped is to be broken, in more ways than I could ever count. To be raped is to have somebody reach inside to your soul, and force it to slowly die.

This was the article I read about raped woman and how they feel and it wasn't exactly what happened to me in this shivering night but It exactly felt the same.

Maybe because I've been forced and exposed? It could be, because right now, there's nothing better than just staying shut and praying for Allah in the deepest of my heart.

I've yelled and screamed for them to stop but they didn't. They didn't until they got what they wanted and left with waves of laughter following after.

Holding on tight my clothes as my tears stained them, continuously dripping from my red eyes to my head scarf that have been pulled off of my head earlier leaving it to handle another job, which was covering the exposed parts of my body.

Which part? Was it the part they pulled my robe and left me exposed? The part they pulled my hijab off? Or or maybe how they left me with unclasped bra? Maybe they forgot about my pantie so they didn't mind it.

What ached me more was how the boy I had feelings for, the guys I started having feelings for was in the game with them? With Zayn. He was driving, that means he was in the game too. All of them were.

From Axel to, Don, and tyron, to Vanessa and Roxy. Funny right? They all played me right and of course who would missnour on so much fun without recording and promising on showing the world about it?

He said being a porn star would fit me. He promised me I'd be famous by tomorrow.

And I promised him a punishment from Allah. I know Allah is here watching me suffer in the cold, I know he saw them doing it to me, and I know nothing more than he's already got his revange on them for me but all I don't know is when it is.

We human being know nothing more than him, he know better and we are here to worship him.

Sometimes I wonder if Allah is lonely, I wonder if he made us to worship him because he felt lonely? And maybe he's still lonely in a wait for someone to pray for him so he could feel wanted and loved.

So he could feel his power on us and that we are nothing without him.

This is only my imaginations and nothing real. Maybe it could be but like I said, only he knows.

And again, what Im walking through isnt worst than my sisters in Islam had walked through, and this might be a test from Allah and that's all.

Wipping my tears away that never stopped until now as I wore my clothes quickly to leave this place that they built a horrible memory that I won't forget ever.

I felt like I'm still exposed even though I've held my clothes tightly as I wore it.

I don't know what have I done to deserve this but all I have to do know is go home because I can do nothing after this.

•••

As she walked out of the house, she made her way to the direction her mind told her, even though she didn't know where was she but she only followed what her brain told her.

This night was cold and raindrop are starting to run down slowly, only adding on the sorrow night she's having.

Trying her best not to cry again, trying her best to stay calm after but was hard. Her eyes are starting to get blurring again from her tears.

She wants to cry and yell but she couldn't and wouldn't until she reaches her safe place. Home.

As she tries and reaches that place where she calls it home, she wipes her tears and looks in front to see much more disaster in front of her.

It was a car accident between a truck and a SUV. Smoke coming out of both cars, the truck was laying side ways while the SUV was flipped up on it's back.

As Deena gasp and walks closer to it, she notices the familiar black SUV, and when she walks closer to the doors if the car to see inside she gasps even more.

The tears she have been trying to stop are now running down with wide red eyes as her palms pressed on her lips.

Her heart ached harder and tears run more and hands started shaking again.

Then she lost it and screamed.

•••

Moon:

Wanna knows who's in the SUV and why did she scream? Just stay tuned for another update!

Discriminated°Where stories live. Discover now