chapter two

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Am I alive? 

That was my first thought. My head was aching, it was like a knife was stabbing every spot on my skull. I did not have the strength to open my eyes. I could sense I was laying down somewhere. But where? I thought. The sound of a monitor beeping in the distance helped me find my surroundings. I used all the strength I had to open my eyes. They slowly started to flicker then after several attempts opened. I stared at the white ceiling for a long moment, my vision was blurry. I then proceeded to move my eyes around the room keeping my head still. Doing this caused the pain in my head to expand and travel down to my neck. With every movement the pain would become stronger. I had looked to my right, I saw a giant window where the sun was peaking through. In front of the window was a sofa with a large plant next to it. On my left was a wall that contained another window expect this window was looking out to a desk. 'I was in the hospital' I had thought. 'But I died?' I questioned so confused. My eyes then travelled to view the rest of my body. I was still covered in tiny specks of blood. Both of my legs were in casts and my torso was covered in several white bandages. 'What happened?' I thought again so confused. I tried to move slowly but nothing happened. I wondered if any of my limbs still worked. Probably not with my luck. A knock at the door diverted my attention from my thoughts. I didn't have the energy to talk so the person just walked in. It was Miranda Bailey. She was dressed in her usual lab coat and dark blue scrubs with her hair neatly brushed and hanging down. 

"I'm so sorry Lexie" were her first words. She sounded very upset and sympathetic at the same time. I could not reply so I just looked at her calmly. She did not have to be sorry, it was not her fault. Miranda moved closer and slowly grabbed the chart from my bed and began to examine it. 

She then brought her eyes to look at me and it's like she could read my mind. "You were in a place crash Lexie" Her eyes changed to sorrow. "You were brought in just in time but in a very critical condition. You had a lot of internal bleeding, broken bones, and brain hemorrhaging. We thought we lost you. But you fought with everything you have" Miranda added with a smile at the end. "Right now you are stable and we want you to rest before we attempt another surgery. You are doing well so far" Miranda finished. I smiled back to give thanks for her update on my health. Right now I was lucky to be alive, not many people survive a plane crash. I remember the plane crash a year ago when there was only one survivor our of 183 people. 


"Would you like to see some people?" Miranda asked and I smiled in reply. She nodded and went off to collect a few people and walked back in with Meredith who was on crutches and in her pjyamas and Derek who was also in his pjyamas and wore a cast for his hand injury. They walked closer to my bed and stood at my side. Meredith was stroking my hair with tears in her eyes. Small tears fell from Dereks eyes too. 

"I love you Lex" Meredith crocked stroking my forehead. I smiled in reply and tears filled my eyes too. 

"We will help you through this Lexie" Derek added stroking my hand for comfort. 

"I'm so so sorry Lexie. This should not have happened to you" Meredith added brushing the tears that were falling from my eyes. 

I had finally gained enough energy to talk "It's okay" I croaked out. My mouth was so dry. 

Miranda brought a chair for Meredith and Derek to sit on and they never left my side. They would trade on and off to get food or go to the bathroom but someone was always with me. They both looked at me with pain in their eyes.  "How is everyone?" I croaked out after a while. 

Derek spoke "Cristina broke her shoulder, Arizona had an infection that lead to a leg amputation, and Mark had an infection too" Derek trailed off and my heart broke thinking of Mark in pain "But his wasn't too severe like Arizonas' he was out within a few days. He is on his way over" Derek added and I smiled knowing Mark was okay and that he was coming. I missed him. 

The thought of Mark brought on the memories from the crash. I wondered if Mark felt the same as I did to him or if it was just a spur of the moment confession because I was dying. He did have Julia though and nothing that I said could off changed his mind. He found someone that wanted the same things as him - a child, marriage. So how could I just intervene and take over when his life was turning out the way he wanted it to go. The arrival of Mark caused Meredith and Derek to trade watch. They went to go see Zola whilst Mark stayed. He stood at the doorway with Miranda talking clearly about me. I examined their conversation. He was standing tall with his arms crossed, tears slowly dripping down. He looked healthy, like nothing had happened to him. Miranda then brought Mark into the room. He took the seat Meredith was sitting in. His movements were slow. I stared at him and he started at me. He was scared to touch me, like I would break at any moment. I felt his warm hands wrap around my tiny cold right hand. He continued to stare at me tears falling. I gave him a sympathetic smile. 

"I'm sorry Lex, so sorry" He whispered brushing my forehead with one of his hands. 

"It's okay" I croaked "I'll get better soon" I croaked again. 

Mark kissed my cold right hand. "I love you" He spoke and those three words warmed my heart. "I really do and not because you almost died. But because I really really love you" He confessed never breaking his gaze.

I wanted to jump up and kiss him but I couldn't move. I smiled as tears still fell down my face. "I love you too" I croaked. Mark smiled the smile that got me giddy. We continued to sit in silence as it hurt to talk. Mark would still rub and kissing my hand. Whilst I would stare and smile at him. After a while Meredith and Derek walked back in this time with a bag.

"I have all your things" Meredith spoke placing the bag on the sofa in front of the window. 

"Thanks" I croaked with a smile. Even though I was broken a part of me was mended. I got Mark back and I was never letting him go again. 

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