Train Wreck

three

Alice POV

"Beep! Beep!"

The smirk on his face at my honking noise as I returned from the bathroom made me suspicious but I sat down and attempted to get a read on Benji's expression. I can usually tell exactly what my brother is thinking the second I see his face. Our banter was always casual and breezy so this look of mystery made me curious.

My back was becoming sore at how stiff our seats were so I curled up in my chair and buckled in, wiggling around to get cozy while eyeing Benji with a playful glare.

He gave a non-committal shrug, sipping his water a moment before simply saying, "Have a nice... trip."

My eyes rolled, head shaking in mock annoyance at his teasing while he snickered at my reaction. Benji started giggling and finally broke character to show the boy whose crooked grin with a smattering of freckles always reminded me just how young he still was.

It's hard to remember he's barely fourteen.

We joked a bit further, poking fun as we always did and I smiled as he pointed out the window, amazed at how high up the mountain we had traveled thus far. The altitude was making me nauseous but Benji helped distract me with an animated story replaying how he smashed through an outer space level of Angry Birds, sending enemy pigs floating peacefully thanks to the lack of gravity. He was so amused at the way this game paid attention to that scientific detail. It was adorable how he paid attention to things like that, especially since I knew how special it would be to someone else when he was in a relationship one day.

I let out a long breath, leaning back and relaxing each muscle as I attempted to still the thoughts sprinting through my mind. The stomach pain was not going away and it felt a bit like the train was speeding up. Sitting backward was a bizarre experience, one I remember vaguely from childhood and a few car rides with friends that had those cool wood panel station wagons with a rear-facing back seat.

This all felt so bizarre but I chalked up my extra layer of anxiety to the fact we left everything we've ever known behind to start fresh in a new town before my little brother's freshman year of high school. I also just graduated from college less than a week ago. So much change in such a short time span is bound to cause growing pains. That's all part of life, isn't it?

What's that song lyric? "Well, I've been afraid of changing, cause I built my life around you... but time makes you bolder, even children get older... and I'm getting older, too..."

"Want to switch seats, Lissy?" The concern in his expression was evident but a quick smile calmed his nerves quickly.

My head shook and I started to respond, "I'm fine, Beep. Just a bit puke-y..." but was cut off. We shared an alarmed expression as the train again leaned even further to the side while continuing to gain speed. Benji braced himself with arms locked against the armrests, avoiding the window as was recommended on the emergency brochure we were asked to read upon boarding.

When his eyes found mine, I saw the little boy who would say "beep beep" with Hot Wheels toy cars along any possible surface he could reach. The baby who puked on me the morning of my third-grade school pictures, but I didn't even care that the photos showed the stain on my dress. The toddler whose squeals of excitement would greet me when I came home from elementary school.

My little brother insisted I be his Show and Tell "item" after our parents died, stubbornly proclaiming this was the only possible choice since he had to introduce his class to his new family.

My Beep Beep, my baby brother, was terrified.

Somehow my eyes found the man I bumped into, the one I previously tried not to stare at even though his deep blue eyes drew me in, and saw a peace on his face that made me feel calmer within moments.