Train Wreck

fifty-seven

Alice POV

My hands shook but I took a few deep breaths to steel myself before sliding my finger under the envelope flap.

Dear Remington (And Alice),

I am glad you know how to follow instructions but am also assuming Alice is encouraging you to do so. Thank you, dear. I would appreciate it if you made sure these letters got to their intended recipients for me. Nothing inside is a secret so you're welcome to peek, but just know the sentiments are personal and will hopefully give everyone a bit of closure. I hope this is the Goodbye we all wish we could have had in person.

I know I have hurt you a lot, son. I've done so much harm and my lies could have been remedied sooner. I'm sorry. 

You deserved better than the life I gave you.  I wish I could have done more.  I wish I could have been the father you had in my final years after cancer took hold.  I wish we could have had more trips to Braves games and the Football hall of fame.  I wish I could see Alice walk down the aisle toward you on your wedding day.  I wish for so many things, but I know that will not happen.

That's okay.  I am at peace with the fact that I will miss so much.  I am also so happy to have watched your love story begin.  The first time you mentioned Alice and Benji from your hospital bed I just knew they would be part of our lives.  Something about the way you said her name, even in your hazy post-surgery state, was proof that she was special.

The ring I left for you is a family heirloom. I was planning to use if I was ever able to propose to Clara. It belonged to my grandmother.  I would have used it for your mother but she never liked the setting.   I held onto this with the hope that maybe one day it would come in handy for you.

There is no timeline and you do not have to use this, but it's available if you would like to have it for Alice one day.  If not, feel free to sell or even save the ring for Benji to use one day.

Trust your heart. She is your person. You both know it and I am so thankful I got to witness the beginning of your journey together.

I love you. I'm sorry for all I did wrong. I'm sorry I didn't fix anything sooner. Please try to remember the good but keep me accountable for the bad. I'm not a hero.

Thank you for respecting my wishes and heeding the final words I have for you. I wish we had more time together, but finding Benji gave me hope I never thought I could have. Now I know you are not alone. You have a new family you can build, and I promise I've done all I can to make a way for you.  It's not much, but I did my best to set everything up for the three of you.  Please know I will be watching from wherever I am, rooting for you all the way.

All my love, forever,

Your Dad

I felt numb as I read Greg's words, unsure how to process the depth and intensity of his faith in our relationship.

Is it really that obvious?  Is everyone else THAT positive about our love?

Remington's shoulders shook as he set the page on Greg's desk and crumpled with sobs. I leaned over his back and tried to offer comfort but there was no use.

At this point, the best I could do was let things run their course.

I tried to process all of Greg's words, but the phrase "I'm sorry I didn't fix anything sooner," ran through my head.  If Greg tried to reach out to Clara sooner that would have drastically changed the course of both my and Benji's lives.  As much as I wanted to empathize with Remington and Greg's desire to reunite with my little brother and Clara, my heart broke hearing that sentiment yet again.