Train Wreck

twenty six

Alice POV

I grabbed an oversized olive green cardigan from my closet after Benji headed into the living room to get video games started.  He had so much excitement filling his head so I was not surprised that he needed a few minutes alone.

Usually that's the way things go.

From the first moment our eyes locked on the day he was born, I've known that Beep was the kind of kid who would need time.  There was never a learning issue, but more a desire to understand that caused Benji to always spend extra time analyzing what he was doing.

Even when he was a toddler it would take him a little while to really catch on to projects or games.  Everything we did was an act of patience but that even keel manner was something I now appreciated.  I learned how to stay calm under pressure.  It's something I valued when our parents died and that would come in handy now that we had a waiting game for DNA results and a paternity test coming up.

Of course I was positive Benji is Greg and Clara's son.  That made him Remington's half brother.  There is no doubt in my mind, but we need those results to be absolutely certain.  Doc Edwards is right, being cautious here will not hurt anyone.

Except maybe Benji.

I stared in the mirror and realized I sort of recognized myself again.

After the crash it was hard to see myself in the reflection.  The bruising and dark circles were side effects of all I experienced, but something was missing as well.

Part of who I was died along with all the other passengers.

I realized the look in my eyes had more determination now.  Benji needed me to stay strong for him.  We will figure things out and let him decide how this goes.  Regardless of how he decides to move forward with Greg and Remington, he deserves the chance to get to know his birth father before it's too late.

I stared at my reflection while pulling my hair back into a tighter ponytail before letting out a sigh and making my way to the kitchen.  The guys were setting up controllers and I noticed some bottles of water and a stack of video games on the table.  We had a few different gaming systems thanks to Daddy meticulously caring for his Atari and Super Nintendo from his childhood, so I had a feeling Remington would be impressed with the selection.

"Want some drinks, guys?" I hollered into the living room.   Remington stood from the couch and joined me, leaning on the fridge door while I dug around for a container of cut up cantaloupe and watermelon.

I grinned, raising my eyebrows at him when I looked up from my crouched position, "Can I help you?"

"I'd love a Dr Pepper, and to help you carry things back there," Remi smiled and I handed him the tupperware containers along with two soda bottles. Greg asked for some sweet tea while Benji just wanted a Gatorade so we grabbed forks and napkins along with their drinks then got settled in the living room.

Greg insisted he was comfortable in his wheelchair then Remington and Benji found places on opposite ends of our couch.

My spot was, apparently, right in the middle.

Something about my physical position on the couch mirrored how I felt about our current situation.  Like I'm stuck between two opposing forces, even though this is not a tug of war.

No one is forcing me to choose.

I couldn't help but notice all these men have in common.  During our lunch there were moments where Benji did the exact same thing as Remi and Greg.  The mannerisms are so similar, even in how they wipe their mouths and shake their heads when they laugh.  I try not to hyper focus on those similarities because I know they will make this transition even harder.  For now I need to stay present.