Train Wreck

twelve

Alice POV

A soft snore echoed next to me and I smiled, looking to my right at Remington as he dozed against the pillow.

His eyes flickered a moment as he exhaled, lips slightly parting and nostrils flared. I watched while he shifted his broad shoulders and tried to get more comfortable in the far too small hospital bed. My body had slowly drifted to the edge, closer to the rail, but I didn't mind.

This bed is about right for one person but the two of us.... Oof.... maybe both was a bad idea this time....

I chuckled to myself and tried to slide away but felt Remington pull me closer. His voice roughly whispered, "No... five more minutes..."

Now I laughed louder, "I have to pee, Remi."

He groaned and shoved his face into the pillow, allowing me to move away. I scooted off the bed and slowly made my way around, holding the IV pole as I walked. "Fine. Go. Leave me here all alone," the sound of his voice half muffled into the pillow while I shut the bathroom door.

My body moved carefully, one step at a time, attempting to be gentle with myself. I set my phone on the bathroom counter and saw a text pop up on the screen.

Benji: "Why is Remington shouting?"

I burst into laughter, texting back instantly.

Alice: "Cause I had to get up to pee."

Benji: "YOU BITCH!"

I snorted then texted him back a quick "Go the F*CK to sleep, Beep beep. Love you!" before putting my phone down and finishing up.

Foul language was such a tough issue for me.

I swore constantly as soon as my parents died.

Something snapped in my head and a vice I never tried was unleashed. As such, I have had the worst time reining in Benji's dirty mouth. We discussed it when he turned thirteen and I approved of him using shit and hell since they were "softer" bad words but only when it was just us together. Others are harsher and I felt like I didn't want him to just go quoting every single Vine he loved, even if "FUCK YOUR CHICKEN STRIPS" made me cry laugh every time we quoted it. 

The main focus for me was that he not swear in public unless we were around people who we knew were "safe."   Most of my concern was judgment.   I dealt with enough criticism as it was. So many had opinions on the choice I made to keep Benji out of foster care with the help of our family friends.  They judged my choice to stick with him, so in turn we were isolated.  Some of our parents friends that helped us also faced censure and judgment from their peers, especially the family lawyer that took our case and helped me ensure we were able to stay independent.

It usually took a long time for me to trust people, but Remington, Jesse, and Greg were clearly already on that list.  Doctor Edwards proved she was as well, sharing a quiet confidence as well as giving me insight through our time together.

I let out a sigh and finished washing my face, exiting the bathroom as Remington was moving to his wheelchair with the help of a nurse.

"Bed time?" I asked with a grin.

We both knew it was, so being casual about this would make for an easier transition.

I'd rather sleep in his arms, cozy in a king size bed with down comforters and lavender scented Egyptian cotton sheets with the ocean breeze coming through the windows. We would listen to soft classical music while drifting off, his strong arms keeping me safe. In the morning I'd wake up first and make waffles, then he'd get to the kitchen just in time to hug me from behind when the pour over coffee was ready.