Train Wreck

fifty two

Remington POV

I think it must have been the way her eyes sparkled, even as I heard thunder rumble in the distance.  

It was a bit chilly, but I didn't care.

Lissy stood as the rain began to fall with her arm stretched toward me, eyebrows raised. "You know you want to..."

I really did.

For the second time in my life I understood the Swamp of Sadness from "The Neverending Story," where Atreyu has to pull his horse Artax through deep sludge, emotionally suffocating them with every step.

First time was Reese.

There was so much deep sadness as soon as it struck me that he was actually gone.  It took longer than it should have.  I pulled him from that pond and tried CPR.  You would think that a teenage kid would know their kid brother is already dead when his body is blue and the only thing escaping his lungs was water.

Jesse was the one who told me.  He showed up after Mom called.  I was still sitting by the pond with a towel in my lap, staring toward the water.  Ever since that day I've known what it was like to just be numb.

My hands touched hers and I felt a shock pulse from my fingertips through my body.  The air was alive as I felt blades of grass slip under my bare feet.  Every nerve ending sought some semblance of life while I looked toward the sky, opening my mouth to taste the rain.

Static electricity? I didn't care, it was something. Any feeling was better than the nothing burger I felt all day long. Lissy was doing her damndest to keep me grounded every chance she got so I was trying to match her energy when I had the opportunity.

Dancing in the rain sounded like a great idea, so may as well.

Her squeals filled my ears as the rain started to fall harder when I pulled Lissy into the waltz position, starting a fast box step around the yard.  We played and squealed like children, her eyes locked with mine.

I had no idea what I was doing, but it didn't matter.

For the first time in my life, I didn't care... and I knew Lissy did not, either.

I had a woman I loved in my arms, and she was staring into my eyes, whispering promises that she will stay by my side no matter what happened.

How could I not appreciate the amazing blessing that she has brought to my life? 

Not just who she is, but all Lissy has done in raising Benji... I owed her everything. The least I can do is try to breathe and listen to what she says as she's attempting to keep me calm. I can trust her guidance. She's been through this plenty and has way more tools in her toolbox than I do.

"I'm trying..."

"Stop trying. Just dance..." Liss smiled, her hand cupping my cheek before she stepped back and pointed one finger diagonally in the air. "We're Stayin' Alive today."

I shut my eyes and groaned at her feeble attempt at disco, laughing in spite of myself. She dissolved into giggles as I scooped her into my arms, spinning us around a few times before lightning began to strike nearby.

"Shit!" I gasped, laughing as we looked in the distance toward a bank of dark clouds that made their way toward us.

Lissy wrapped her hand around the back of my neck then guided me down towards face, smiling up at me. "Guess we should go inside?"

"Guess so..." I kissed her softly, nipping at her bottom lip playfully. "Thank you. Just for everything... for being there, for helping, for staying by my side... this day was not what I... just... thank you."

Her smile was more shy as I carefully walked up the deck stairs before setting her down. Alice stared in my eyes then shook her head, finally replying, "But you do the same for me. You help me and stay by my side. Remi, that's what love is. We are a team so just remember everything you feel for me... you can be pretty sure the track goes both ways."