Live For It

|3|

"Zhara? Zhara, you awake?" 

I bolt up from my position in my bed, propping myself up on my elbows as my surroundings become clear. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," the familiar voice of Ajax makes itself known as I trail my eyes over to him. He is standing at the foot of my bed, the moonlight reflecting off of his sweat-stained skin. 

"Did you go out on a midnight run or something?" I joke, my voice quiet and scratchy from the aftermath of sleep. He shakes his head and I immediately realize what happened. 

"Here," I say, throwing a corner of the duvet that is over my body to the side, motioning for him to come onto the unused side of the bed, "I'm sorry it happened again."

Ajax climbs his way into my bed, sealing my grasp around his torso as his breathing calms down. 

"I saw her again, Zhara. It was really bad," he says, his voice shaky and tired. 

Even though I was still grieving, Ajax was the one that had the worst nightmares of our mother's death. He's been having them for about 2 years now, and most of the time he came to me because I was the only other one who witnessed it. He always ends up threatening me and telling me not to tell anyone about his 24-year-old self seeking comfort in his little sister. It's mostly the only reason we still get along. 

"I'm sorry, AJ, it was just a bad dream. She is in a better place, watching over us," I say, practically reassuring myself with the words. He nods into my hold and practically suffocates me with his bulky figure as he rolls over. 

I couldn't help but think about what happened earlier. I knew I should tell them, but I don't want to disappoint everyone again. It's not like I did anything wrong, though. I only saved myself from getting caught up in more shit. 

I laid on my back and stared up at the ceiling, trying to get the image of my mother out of my head. 

"Did you really get home okay?" 

My head snaps over to see my brother staring at me suspiciously. 

Fuck.

"I can practically hear you thinking...and you never actually answered," he says, propping himself up on an elbow. 

I know how this goes, he convinces me he won't tell dad, then next thing I know I'm getting a right hook to the jaw. I narrow my eyes at him and suddenly the tension in the room goes back to how it usually is around my family.

"Okay, now you have to tell me." 

I groan and turn to lay on my side to face him. I prepare myself for the future of what will come in the morning for my consequence. 

"When I went to get Rowen his drink, this guy came up to me and heard Rodney say my name. I freaked out at his reaction and hurried off to drop off the glass before going out the back entrance. When I tried to make my way home, 4 guys popped up around the corner, blocking me from leaving," I say, causing him to sit up straighter and his face gets stern. 

"I didn't let them see my entire identity, but I'm pretty sure the guy from the bar saw me, and he was one of the men. I recognized them from the diner yesterday," a sharp intake of air is heard from his side of the bed, "The were throwing out stupid phrases and I was tired of it, so I booked it. Nobody got hurt, I just delayed whatever they were going to do to me if I had stayed. Then I ran home, made sure no one was following me, and then continued on like it never happened," I admit, sighing as I lay back down.

"Fucking Armani..." Ajax curses, running an angry hand through his sleep-affected hair. My eyes widen at the name, and I immediately part my lips to speak.