Live For It

|47|

{ZHARA}

I was laughing so hard, and Zion looked like he wanted to murder me.

So he was freaking out this much about forgetting a condom? We were in the ocean... It's not like he could just whip one out in the middle of the water.

"What the fuck is humorous about something that could ruin my future?"

My laughing immediately stopped, and my eyes widened at his statement. 

"Ruin?" I repeat, baffled by what he said. His eyes showed a tiny hint of regret, but it was gone before I could really tell. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but I stopped him. 

Zhara, don't jump to conclusions...

Breathing in deeply, I remembered what place he was speaking from. 

"I'm not laughing about the situation itself, Zion. It's just that-"

"You shouldn't have been laughing at all."

He had a point, and suddenly I was the one who felt the regret. 

His words start to sink in, just as the previously mentioned sentence was resurfacing in my brain.

"What is so utterly terrible about me bearing a child anyway?"

Oh great, now I sounded petty. 

"Zhara, it's not like that-"

"Then what is it like? I understand you are in no place to have a kid, but what's so bad about having one with me in general?"

Maybe I shouldn't have said that, because now it seems like I want a future with him. 

Well, if it wasn't obvious already...

"Zhara, if you were to have a child, I think you'd be a great mother," he sat down on the bed, pulling my body against his. "But you are still young, and I cannot bring a baby into the world we live in."

"It just feels like you hated the thought of me carrying your child," I admit, avoiding his eyes. Now I felt humiliated. And quite dumb.

Why did I even have to speak in the first place?

"God, Zhara," he gripped my chin, "The thought of you pregnant with my heir makes me want to fuck you even more."

Say what? 

"I don't want to put you or our future child through the upcoming situations right now," Zion soothes my worry. 

I feel like a bitch. 

Oh well.

I hate to burst his fantasy bubble, but-

"Well, I'm infertile either way. Don't gotta stress about babies anytime," I pat his chest before standing up, wanting to shower before we have to go back to the central estate. 

"What?" he yanks me back, standing tall over me. Guilt bubbles inside me, watching his face contort in all types of emotions. 

"I have an ovulation disorder, Zion. It's not like there aren't other options," I explain calmly. 

He looks as if I have lied to him about something crazy for the last five years. 

"It's really not that big of a deal," I pull away from him, walking back toward the bathroom. 

Once again, he drags me back. 

"It is, Zhara."

I couldn't help but let a sad smile grace my lips. His charismatic attitude felt deep and rare coming from him.