Live For It

|31|

{ZHARA DI MAGGIO}

I opened my eyes, gasping for air as the sleep in my body vanished immediately. One sight of my dreams had my mind forcing itself awake, limiting my rest to a minimum these past nights. 

I don't even know how many days I've been awake, I lost track really quickly. 

I gripped the blanket between my tense fingers, pulling it to my body as the darkness in the room seemed to grow. The window glistened with a few city lights, but other than that, I was surrounded by the pitch black. 

My chest heaved and ached with each second that passed, my body purging itself because of what I now suffer from. I couldn't even remember the words the doctor described it as, but to be honest, it might've always been there, even before what happened. It had been years since I had been to a qualified doctor, and I had never been allowed to get diagnosed. Because diagnosis could lead to medicine. And medicine could lead to addiction. And addiction can lead to no money, and my father definitely wouldn't have liked that. 

It's only me staying alive, though, so I guess I can't get too mad at my brain for just trying to protect me. 

"What do you dream about?" the deep voice rings out from behind me, causing me to practically scream as I sat up in shock. I turn, eventually the voice registers in my mind as Zion's. 

There he was, sitting in the chair next to my bed, only illuminated by the moonlight from the window. He was leaned back in the chair, legs apart as if he had been relaxing for a bit or something. I could see his body and the outlines that lined his clothes and his muscles as they strained against certain parts. He looked truly surreal in this moment, causing me to stare at him for an odd amount of time. 

"It's only me, Zhara," he seemed to try to comfort me, but it only made my heart speed up even more when he said my name. I blinked, finally realizing that I should speak now. 

"Oh-" my voice was soft but scratchy due to the lack of sleep, "What did you ask?"

"Nevermind it," he shook his head, sitting straight so he was closer to my body. I reached for the blanket, wrapping it around my bare shoulders because of the chill I was getting. And not because it was cold. 

"Have you not been sleeping well?" he assumed, his eyes sketching like lines across my face, my eyes to my lips. I did the same with him, I guess it would only be fair. 

I shook my head, feeling small as his stare seemed to turn harsh when his eyes locked on my thigh, which was exposed due to my sleep shorts. 

He stood, but no anger showed in his posture. His large hand went straight to feel over the healing skin layered with ink, taking in the image of art Cobra was working on the other day. My breath hitched and my skin flushed, not used to the touch so close to where it was. 

"What is this?" he pondered, trailing his eyes up my entire body this time. 

"A tattoo," and bitchy Zhara was back, being the independent woman she is. His eyes snapped up to meet mine, and his hand squeezed the flesh of my thigh, not hurting me, but surprising me, to say the least. 

"No fucking shit," he pulled me closer to him by my leg, my hand releasing the sheet around me. "I know this wasn't here before."

"You're right, it wasn't," I tilted my head at the man who glared down at me, "I got it done right in this room," I smirked as I continued keeping eye contact with him. His jaw ticked, and he looked back down at my skin again. 

"Did you strip down for it?" he asked, catching me off guard as his other hand went to my waist. 

"No, it was fairly simple and easy," I admitted, not embarrassed by his unusual question.

"Why do you ask?" I question, raising a brow at him. 

"I have a goddamn right to know," he snaps.

"Do you?" I tease, tilting my head. 

"You fuck with Cobra?" he accused, suddenly angry again. I furrowed my brows at him, confused about the reasoning behind these questions. 

"I mean, I guess it depends... It was mostly a favor for a fa-"

His hand on my thigh went to the back of my head, grabbing my hair and putting me in a very familiar situation. My hands went straight to his chest, which was just covered by a white shirt. 

"What kind of favors, Zhara? You two fuck or something?" 

My eyes widened as his crazy assumptions, and I shoved at his chest. 

"God, no! And even if we did, it isn't any of your damn business," I exclaim, feeling a bit weirded out by the bluntness of the conversation. He turned his head away from me, almost as if he was having an argument in his own mind. 

"It is my business. You're my fucking business," he said lowly, slightly closing the distance between us. I was basically speechless. 

"I'm not anyone's business, right? Didn't you fucking sign a paper that stated exactly that I belonged to no one now?" I threw it right back in his face, but regretted it shortly after. His face visibly tensed again, and he started to loosen his grip on me. 

Real fucking smart, Zhara. 

"I didn't sleep with him. I didn't sleep with anyone, in case that's what you thought," I tried saving my last statement, lowering the tone in my voice. Now I feel like an ungrateful bitch. 

Zion went emotionless, just continued staring coldly at me. 

"I apologize for not asking you, but I didn't need to, right?" I checked, feeling some sort of way when he nodded, dipping his head closer to me. My eyes were glossed over as if I was on something, and I swear he had me breathing in some different type of air. 

"Good," he whispered into my ear, sending shocks of something I hadn't felt in a long time down my spine and into my nerves. 

"Because you may not belong to me on paper," 

My hands trailed up his chest, up into his soft, thick hair. 

"But you're only mine to fuck."

My heart stopped, and my breathing was loud in my ears. The ache in my nerves shot in between my legs at his deep words, my lips parted in anticipation. 

I wanted this before, I just never recognized the feeling until now. 

This heartbeat followed when he came near me. 

"Oh, really?" I teased, grazing his neck with my lips, feeling his hands tighten around me. 

"Then prove it," I whisper into his neck, taking what I wanted first this time. 

With no regrets.