Live For It

|55|

{ZHARA}

I don't know what I was dreaming about before I woke up to Zion Armani sitting on the foot of the bed I was sleeping on. 

I had come across this empty bedroom, so I wasn't going to pass up the option to take a nap. 

I didn't move, trying to figure out what he was doing here without alerting him that I was awake. There was nothing off in the room, and he just seemed to be staring out the window. 

I sighed, pushing myself up from my comfortable position. Zion straightened his back, but he didn't turn to me, which I was happy about. I watched for a few seconds as his hands clenched and he rested his elbows on his knees. His head dropped to his hands, and I started to take off the stupid jacket I still had on. My long sleeve shirt underneath did enough to comfort the sore parts of my body, and I took a deep breath before reaching over across the bed. 

The second my hands met his back, he froze, and my fingertips slid over his shoulders. I wrapped an arm around his torso, then one across his chest. The side of my face pressed to his back, and I could hear his heartbeat. It was racing, and I knew I was the cause. 

I feel like Zion had never experienced common physical touch before I came along and tried suffocating him every day. But it still shocks me how we went from having sex in the ocean to me barely even touching his back. Only a few days ago, I thought I really had him. I thought I could trust him, or give up my life for him. And here we are. I'm nervous to simply hug him. 

"Come here, Zion," I whisper into his ear, letting him lean back onto me. He complies, turning his front toward me, and I wrap my arms around his neck. 

To make him more comfortable, I stand up from the bed and let him stay sitting. I pull him against me, running my hand through his soft hair. 

For the first time today, he trusts me, resting his head against my chest. His breathing starts to match mine, and an unfamiliar emotion rushes from my nerves. His strong arms connect behind me, and I rub his tense back. 

I don't speak, and neither does he. I don't want to ruin this. 

The sun starts to rise through the window, giving the bedroom an unbelievable glow. 

The only thing running through my mind is the man in my embrace. And this was my attempt at being angry at him. 

I know I'm long gone from being saved. I'm in too deep for him, and I think he knows that. 

"I'm sorry, Zhara."

My eyes slightly widen at those words, and my hand pauses against his back. The vibrations of his hoarse voice were felt throughout my entire body.

I roll my lips together, continuing my patterns on his spine. 

When I thought deeply about where we were right now, I realized that something had to change. If I was going to follow my heart, I needed to open up to myself. And to him. 

He deserves it. 

"I forgive you, Zion," I kiss the crown of his head, "And I'm sorry."

That's when he pulled his head away from my chest, looking up at me with furrowed brows. His lips are so much more distracting up close.  

"I'm sorry for putting pressure on you," I clarify, "And making you feel guilty for things that aren't your fault."

He shakes his head, grey eyes closing as he rested his forehead back onto my abdomen. He sighed, and it was as if he was releasing all of the tension inside of him through that exhale. 

A smile graces my lips, and I can't even help it. 

"Look," I place my hand on his cheek, "the sun is rising."

I move so he can see through the window, and we share the beautiful side of our world. I take in the extravagant colors the sun makes in the sky, and my eyes burn with the mix of overwhelming feelings in my chest. 

If this is wrong- if everything I do with Zion is wrong, then I hope nothing ever is right in my life. 

It hits me here, what the rest of my life is going to consist of. Everything that was after Alphonzo's death, was always "what now?" And now I understand that I don't have to know what's next. I don't have to have an answer, because no matter what, my life will be fulfilled. If this is the last time I get to be in Zion's arms, I can die peacefully. 

Whatever I have lived for has come to this, and I don't despise any of the events that led me here. 

Here with him. 

I want to hang on. I want to live for something, and my answer is right in front of me. 

I've realized...Zion is my life. I've been caught on him, obsessed with him for however many days it's been. I don't even care about the number, because right now is enough for me. 

And my next breath is cold on my lungs, a refreshing new beginning. 

"We'll be okay, Zion."

With my words, he stands. His hands stop on my waist, squeezing there as if he can't let go. Zion glances above my head, staring at the sunrise. 

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I turn my head to look at it, as well. 

And when I turn back around, he's looking down at me. 

"Yes."

My stomach flutters along with my heart, and my hand trails up to the side of his neck. I stand on my toes to reach his lips, but he's quick to lean down and pull me flush against him. His soft lips meet mine, and I swear I squealed like a little girl on the inside. 

He's rushed, but I'm in no hurry, slowly feeling him against me. I like to think we have all the time in the world. 

His tongue nips mine, and I allow him deeper. My teeth tug on his bottom lip, smiling as he tries to capture my mouth with urgency. Zion is passionate, he's full of so much love, he doesn't even realize it. 

I give all I have to give, and he replicates my energy. His hand is in my hair, now, and my heart beats to a level I thought was impossible. My other hand comes between us, and I pull away to catch my breath. My thumb drags across his now-red lips, his hooded gaze sending shivers down my spine. He's such a pretty human being, and I would tell him that, but he's too busy trying to kiss me again. 

I let him, knowing that this was what I needed. I kiss him back like he's my lifeline, breathing him in and out. The pure emotion he shows, it's not like before. It's honest, and he's not holding back. 

My everything is him. And I make sure to show him that.