Astrophile

053

2005

"It's been a while, hasn't it... Nii-san?"

You stared down, eyes cold and lifeless. The usual gentle smile you always wore was long gone, replaced with a thin line. You couldn't care who was seeing you like this, as long as you got to be with your big brother.

"It's been 2 years, huh? Time sure does fly..." You smiled to yourself, mocking your own self at how you still couldn't protect him, even after working so hard.

"Manjirō's doing well... so is Emma-chan..." You explained, not even knowing why you bothered when you knew there was no point, "Kazutora's doing well in the juvenile center... Keisuke... well, I've long forgiven him, but even now when I see him... I remember that day..."

Everyday, you told him the same words. Over and over again, trying to save your waning sanity, "Wakasa-niisan and Benkei-niisan still fight like kids... Honestly, Takeomi-niisan is so done with those two that he doesn't even bother breaking their fights..."

You chuckled at the memory of the three older men, "Waka-niisan sure has gotten creative with his insults... He calls Benkei-niisan a 'pea-brained idiot'... whatever that means..."

Even if it was a one-sided conversation, it still brought you peace just talking to him, "Oh, right!! I forgot... I brought you some flowers, but I'll just place them here..."

You gently placed them at the side, smiling at the beautiful baby blue hydrangeas that brought colour to the monotonous place.

You darted your eyes around, staring at the dull colours around you that made you feel sick. Carefully, you brought your hand forward, bending down slightly.

And placing it on his warm cheek...

He had gone into a coma after the incident 2 years ago. Kazutora got arrested for attempted murder, and he kept on blaming Mikey for everything. When you tried to visit him in juvie, he screamed and begged you not to hate him. It broke you to see your best friend like this so you tried your hardest to assure him that you could never hate him.

It calmed him down, but his mental health began deteriorating quickly. He would beg you to stay and not leave him, beg you that he would keep you safe and kill your mother for you if only you stayed with him. The guards at the centre advised you to not visit him because every time you did, he would throw a tantrum.

You had no idea if you ever did anything useful.

Shinichirō wasn't dead, but he wasn't living his life either... He was just existing. You had messed up Kazutora and God knew how much misery Manjirō went through.

The familiar beeping of the heart monitor brought you just as much comfort as it made you nauseous. It was a reminder that Shinichirō was still alive, still breathing.

But it also reminded you that you failed to protect him. After he fell into a coma, you took all the blame and practically began punishing yourself for your uselessness. You didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't drink.

You just sat in Shinichirō's shop and kept on lightly banging your head against the wall, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." You kept on repeating like broken record with a straight face, eyes drooping due to the lack of sleep and your body slumped against the floor due to starvation.

At some point, Wakasa found you and had to take you to the hospital with how malnourished you had become. You stayed there for a few days before you were visited by Toman.

They all stared at you with tears in their eyes, before Manjirō decided to take the initiative and bowed down. He was followed by Ken, Takashi, and Haruki. Keisuke stood at the doorway with tears in his eyes, watching your weakened form just sitting on the hospital bed with a dead look.

'I caused this...' Baji thought as he turned to the corner when he saw you shift your eyes to his direction, "Keisuke... I know you're there..."

His breathing hitched. He wasn't ready to face you or Mikey, not yet!! But when he turned to peak a glance, he saw you giving him that same gentle smile.

That goddamn smile...

He was starting to hate how easy it was for you to make him so vulnerable with just your smile. Every time you smiled at him, he felt like he was the most loved person alive. That was the effect you had with your kind, gentle smile.

Manjirō walked over and pulled him inside with a face that dripped of melancholy. He couldn't bear to look at any of you in the eyes, so when he stood right in front of your bed, he kept his gaze low.

You and Manjirō shared a look and smiled at each other before both of you placed a hand on either of his shoulders.

"We forgive you..."

Those words were enough to bring him to tears as he broke down, babbling and muttering incoherent apologies.

'They forgave me... but I don't... deserve it...'

————

You exited the hospital with a sigh, the last year of middle school really did annoy you with responsibilities. But in the past few years, Toman grew greatly!!

You guys now had 5 divisions, each with 25 members along with a captain and vice-captain. Of course, your position was above each division captain's, you were the one who would coordinate all the members during battles, making sure the orders you had assigned them in your plans were being properly followed.

It was hard work but thanks to you, Toman won many battles that the others were sure you would have lost.

July had just started, and you had your mid-terms in a few weeks. It was July 4th and Mikey and Emma ended up calling you to their house for a sleepover, but you had to refuse due to the fact that you had to prepare for your exams. Having Toman's responsibilities on your shoulders didn't help you either.

You were crossing a street when you got a sudden head ache, making you stumble during the crosswalk. Thankfully, the signal lights were red so you didn't get run over by a car.

The minute you finished crossing the road, you crouched down while holding onto a nearby pole. Your other hand flew to your head, closing your eyes in pain.

Memories you didn't recognise as yours began rushing in.

The hero is here to save the day!!

Did you hear? Hina-chan from Class 2-B has a crush on you!! She's one of the most famous people in our school!! You lucky bastard!!

You're so cool, Takemichi...

'Takemichi?' You thought in shock. You never guessed that you'd hear that name again. All you could remember was a guy with messy black hair and blue eyes.

All of a sudden, you got another memory, shocking you to the core. It was someone staring in the mirror with surprise, almost as if he didn't believe his own appearance. He had slicked back yellow hair and blue eyes. You felt as if everything he was thinking was echoing through your head.

However, you both shared one thought.

'Whose this lame delinquent?!'

————

Important :

To all those confused, allow me to explain!!

[Name] had received Takemichi's memories, just like she had received her own future memories!! If you can recall from chapter 028, future [Name] mentioned that Takemichi's power had messed up her head. It all begins from this moment when Takemichi first timeleaps, and it just worsens later on.

Its because [Name] has the ability to send her past self, memories from the future. But since Takemichi keeps on changing the timeline, and 4th July is the start of it, she ends up getting his memories by accident.