Love Punched | COMPLETED

44. Tell Me

(Lila's P.O.V)

"You don't remember." I scoffed. "That's the part you forgot." I clenched my jaw.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you didn't forget our kiss, but you forgot that you moaned Tatiana's name when we were making out." I spat out, unable to contain myself any longer.

"What?!"

The incredulity in Derek's tone made me snap open my eyes and look at him wearily. I was exhausted with my anger and my hiding.

I missed Derek's company.

I missed our easy talks and banter.

I was done being haunted by that bitch and letting her ruin my relationships. I could just ask Derek.

I was not one of those girls in the books starring misunderstood tropes.

"No. That's..." Derek stood up from the swing abruptly and approached me, lowering himself onto his haunches in front of me and staring me in the eyes with a pained expression.

His copper eyes filled with emotions and intensity like melting metal as they peered into mine.

"Tell me I didn't do that."

I shrugged. "You did." Pinpricks of betrayal still cast themselves into my heart but I was ready to hear the other side of the story.

Derek looked uncomfortable and remorseful. Seeing him in front of me on his knees, that expression of pleading on his face and stark vulnerability in his tight muscles did something to my insides.

He took a deep breath as if preparing for something, and then—

"I was frustrated that she'd sent threats to you and Rebecca. I hated that she wasn't letting go of me. I was angry because you never told me anything about yourself. I was hurt because Mom cheated on Dad and Desiree found out too." He took in a sharp breath. "I was sober during every moment with you, Kitkat. I loved the feel of your skin on mine, I cherished the way your lips moved in tandem. I got addicted to the way you felt in my arms, perfectly molding to me as if made for me."

He swallowed and stunned into silence, I let him continue.

"I never realized the mistake I made and I'm so fucking sorry, Kitkat. I said it because I was angry at Tatiana, not remembering her or linging for her. I'd never hurt you. Never. Not intentionally and never again unintentionally."

His words broke me. They really did.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, his hands grabbing mine and rubbing the thumb over my knuckles soothingly, his eyes intently locked with mine.

The comforting nature, the fierce protectiveness......the naked truth. Derek's heartfelt words, all of them weaved themselves into my heart, becoming one with it.

I felt my lip quiver and unexpected words spilled from my lips. 

"I hate that you dated her. That you may have loved her at some point. I hate her with very fiber of my being. And I hate her brother even more. They're Monsters. And knowing you were associated with them?" I tried to make my voice strong as steel but a tremor sneaked in. "It made me want to hate you." I ended on a whimper.

Derek looked as pained as me.

"I didn't know, sweetheart. I'm sorry. I get it now, the hot and cold treatment." He gave me a rueful smile. "And fuck if I didn't deserve it." He squeezed my hands.

I scoffed. "You deserved worse."

"You can dish out all your anger on me for the rest of our lives."

My breath hitched and I bit my lip, he exhaled.