Love Punched | COMPLETED

34. Knowing Derek

9 HOURS AGO.

(Lila's P.O.V)

"Ahhh!"

I woke up from the nightmare - the memory - in a cold sweat, choking for air, gasping and flailing.

Couldn't breathe, fuck.

It'd been so realistic.

I found my hands trembling and inching up to my chest where the scar of the branding still lay.

Hidden, but always a reminder.

I slapped my cheeks in an effort to rouse myself from the trance like state where my heart beat erratically and my lungs struggled to catch air, where fear filled me and pain resounded in my bones.

I could still hear the horrified screams. Could smell that pungent mix of scents, especially that cigarette smoke. Could imagine myself helpless and bound and burning. The feeling of my chest veing branded and my flesh sizzling.

I shuddered.

Vivid.

It was so vivid.

I realized my cheeks were wet.

Ah. I think I ended up crying.

I wiped away the useless tears and stood up from the bed, breathing heavily and feeling all too hot.

I was quite sure I suffered from PTSD which, to be honest, was not a surprise. But I managed to push through. My bouts of trauma were limited because I chose to control the and not the other way round.

It was after months of mental and physical conditioning that I didn't break out in a cold sweat every time I woke up or every time someone touched me.

I broke down in the solidarity of my room's four walls, nowhere else. But I struggled my fair share. Diego and Cameron had both been enormous helps during those times and I would eternally be grateful to them.

Hardly anyone knew I suffered from it because I was good at keeping everyone at a distance and acting normal.

I was normal just....

Not entirely.

Why did I have this nightmare today?

It'd been months since I thought of the incident in such detail, had a nightmare. I only kept the burning anger and need for vengeance strumming through my veins, not the cold terror and the pain that chained me to my past.

A month before Derek's arrival in Ladenhill, I'd had my last nightmare.

Until today, that is.

It was raining slightly, clouds dark and rolling in the grey-black sky. Feeling out of sorts, I padded down the stairs and got myself a glass of water.

I released a shaky breath.

Was it a reminder that I shouldn't be happy?

No.

It was probably a reminder that I had things to finish before I decided to have a love story. Revenge came first and foremost and then I'd be happy. Happy like Mellisa would have wanted me to be.

At least I woke up before the real nightmare began. Shuddering, I stared out the kitchen window and an inexplicable urge to go check the mailbox gripped me.

I followed my gut feeling and went out, the slight rain drenching me during the short walk.

To my surprise, I found a letter.