Cold All the Way Through, But Warming

A Few Frazzled Days

The night after the funeral was the worst I'd had, I could not seem to stop crying. All my vows to be stronger than my grief had vanished, and I was swimming in it. Drowning in grief, my mind latched onto the fact that Father really was gone. I had ignored it for so long and now it was all I could think about. I could only thank God that Will was there, holding me throughout the night and softly speaking to me in the gloom of the room. "Ana, you really need to get some rest."

"I know Will," I couldn't help but blubber against his chest, "It's just-"

"Shh, I know." He murmured, his hand slowly stroking along my back. He was good to me that night, letting me cry my heart out against him and holding me close throughout the night. I was still exhausted when we made our way back to the train station late that morning, and fell asleep almost immediately in the car. The return trip was far faster, and we actually managed to have dinner with the other officers at the hotel. It was good to hear them talk, a distraction from the grief that had consumed me. I was glad to turn my mind to listening to their stories. They had spent the weekend visiting the museums, which had lacked a flying machine. But they had plenty of fossils and stuffed animals to view, along with General Sickles' leg.

Charles grinned after describing the shattered bones preserved and mounted for display, "One of the museum lads said the General was mad they didn't display his foot with it!" The whole table laughed at that, and I tried to keep the happy mood later in my room. I expected the grief to come for me again, but I just felt empty. Perhaps I was done, I wouldn't cry anymore or have nightmares about what had happened. The night actually passed peacefully and I was up early enough to arrange for a large breakfast before heading off to the inquiry. Feeling full, and relatively stable, I was expecting another long day of questioning. Stuck in the gallery it was rather long, and I had relatively few chances to leave the wooden chair, but I perked up towards the end.

"That is all. I think that finishes with the members of the crew and the officers." Senator Smith said, drawing me from the slight doze I had managed. A brief discussion followed, Will was asked to submit the names and addresses of the officers and another senator wanted to ask Boxhall a few questions on his own, but otherwise they were free to go. I shook my head, looking to the clock in the room. It was barely six, I'd come back to Washington and would spend hardly two days here if I could arrange for the car to be readied for tomorrow's train. I stood and made my way out of the gallery, quickly finding Will and the others gathered by a large window. Boxhall was the only one not present, although they assured me he would be along shortly.

I moved closer to Will, "I can't believe we came back for one day."

"We could have stayed in New York and accomplished the same thing." He shook his head, "But it will be nice to not have to worry about having this take up any more of our time."

"Except when we get back to England it's going to happen all over again." Lowe grumbled, "Bloody nuisance."

"Well," I tried to summon a smile, "I can at least see that you have a good time before you return. Dinner at Sherry's, that's a must. And I'll take you all to a photography studio, I'll want pictures of everyone." I started cycling through events, "And if you have enough time before you return perhaps we can take a trip to the opera."

"I thought you didn't like opera." Will chuckled, nodding to Boxhall as he stepped over to us.

"I don't, but if it's something you all would enjoy I can deal with it." I started off with them, making our way out and onto the street. The hotel was relatively close, and while they headed into the restaurant I arranged for the car to be added onto the morning train to New York. I also made sure to promise the poor conductor a substantial tip, he sounded so frazzled on the telephone. Peggy practically had a fit when I called her and said to have the house ready for all our guests by the afternoon. I was almost anxious for the night to be over with, and actually helped the maid I had summoned pack my trunk so that I could start off immediately in the morning. The other apparently felt the same way, for dawn found us forgoing breakfast to hop into several cabs and trundle off to the station. A few porters were conscripted to carry the trunks to the car, and I thanked the conductor profusely for his help, pressing a small pile of bills into his hand.