Cold All the Way Through, But Warming

A Greedy Man

Newport was much calmer this year, what with the German party being absent. Without the massive hulk of the Wilhelmina waiting for us on the docks we had a much more pleasant time at the regatta. Mother even consented to sailing in with us, and James proved an able hand on the Dependable to the point where Will kept him on for the smaller race. Our competition was even less than last year, and I had the feeling that we might be the only small boat left by next year.

Richard cursed a blue streak when the Astor yacht overtook the Gentilia at the last moment, but it didn't dampen the party after. It was quite an event, and Will took Mother out for at least three dances. I noticed a few other men eyeing him as he did, and for a moment I thought they were angry with him until I noticed the way their eyes lingered on Mother. I drew Will's attention to it, "They're eyeing up Mother like a steak."

"Hmm," He glanced over, sipping his drink. "She is a wealthy widow, and still quite pretty."

I elbowed him, "What do you mean 'still pretty'? Mother has always been beautiful."

"And hopefully that carries down to her daughter." Will quirked up an eyebrow, jutting his chin to show me that one of the older men had just approached Mother and was talking to her. "And perhaps she wants to look for someone new."

I froze, panic reaching down and gripping me. Mother marrying again, Mother calling another man husband, and slowly the pictures of Father being replaced. Another man encouraging me to call him Father, to tell my children that this was their grandfather. I jerked away from Will, my lungs pumping as I looked for somewhere where I could let out the scream that was building in me. But the area where the party was held was a well lit space at the back of a hotel, people were packed in and I couldn't exactly shove them out of the way.

I needed away, I needed somewhere quiet where no one would see me start screaming and crying because that was all I felt like I could do. I had never thought about Mother continuing her life in that way, and I clamped my hands to my head. She should have the chance to be happy again, to find someone to love her, and I was being selfish by wanting her to not move on like the horrible daughter I was.

"Ana?" I felt Will's voice more than heard it, his hands on my arms as he gently tugged my hands from my head. "What is it?"

"I need to get away." I mumbled, casting my eyes around. "I can't, I can't watch someone woo her."

Will glanced to the side, "There, off into one of the gardens." He gently took my arm, pulling me alongside him. I could barely move on my own, and Will quickly had me on a bench somewhere dark and quiet and I broke. I started hiccuping and sobbing, tears squeezing out as I tried to move my dress out of the way. Will made comforting noises, handing me his handkerchief as he let me cry. I could barely hear him over myself, "Mrs. Dalian?"

"Whatever has come over you?" Mother was immediately by me, her hands as comforting as they had been when I was a child. "Anastasia, what is it?"

"You," I mumbled, drawing a shaky breath. "Those men looking at you, like they wanted to court you."

Her hands stilled, "Oh, that." She looked back, "Mr. Murdoch, a moment with my daughter if you please?" Will muttered his assent, withdrawing away from us. Mother patiently drew my hands from my hand. "Anastasia, look at me." I looked up, blinking to bring her into focus. "Now, am I a fool?" Her question stunned me for a moment, allowing the sound of the sea breeze and the garden's fountains to come back into focus.

"What-"

"Am I a fool?"

"No, Mother."

She smiled, "Good, now deep breaths my dear." I did as she requested, feeling her pull me closer. "I will never stop loving Gareth, and he left the company, and the fortune, to us. Now, say that I did remarry, what would happen?" She clearly did not expect me to respond for she bowled right ahead. "My new husband would gain control of the company and the fortune, or at least be able to fight me for them in the courts. And if he got the rights to the company, I have no doubt he would try and force you out. Our family built both of those, it would be the height of foolishness to give that up."