Adopted by Billie Eilish

two

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she was talking to miss c and i couldn't read her facial expressions to see what was going on. i've fucking blew it. of course i did. i literally can't do anything right.

i threw the ipad on the couch and ran up the stairs. i sat there on my bed thinking about what i could of done to make this work. did she not think i was funny? as these thoughts were racing around my head i heard ringing in my ears and my breath started to shorten. for fucks sake. not now.

i started pacing my room. shaking my hands. i started running out of breath so kept trying to regain it. but the more i did that. the less i could breathe. i felt like i was dying. i knew i shouldn't but i did.

i opened my closet and took out my shoe box and grabbed my blade and bandaids. just to calm myself down. i didn't feel real. but this time. i didn't go slow. i pulled my sleeve up and slashed until i couldn't see my skin. just a pool of red across my arm.

i pulled down my sleeve and trued to wipe my eyes. i opened my door and walked towards the bathroom. when i bumped into someone. billie. "sorry" i said without looking at her i just kept walking to the bathroom. i went in and locked the door behind me. got some tissues and wet them. i started wiping to get rid of the blood that was now soaking through my sleeve.

*knock* *knock*

"hey bozo its me get ur ass out here i needa talk to you" she sounded different. a lot more mellow. "i'm coming now, hang on" i flushed the toilet and turned on the tap just so that she thought i actually peed. i unlocked the door and she was stood there.

she grabbed my arm and i fought back the pain so she didn't notice she took me to my room and sat me down. when she let go of me she looked down at her now red hand and looked at me. but differently this time. almost as a protective look. like an elder sister. or even a mom. idk.

i looked down and played with the rips on my jeans. i didn't know what to say or do. she wasn't stupid. but i didn't want her to know. if there was even a slight chance of her adopting me i didn't want to blow it now. i gulped nervously. "shit sorry i tripped on my way up the stairs and hit my arm, i'm okay tho." i forced myself to crack a smile.

she just looked at me. with that look. you know the look people give you when they know you're lying. yeah that look. i looked at her.for longer than 15 seconds since the first time since she arrived. i felt my cheeks heat up and my lower lip quivered. she just grabbed me and hugged me. for what felt like a lifetime. as i sobbed into her arms. i felt safe for the first time since forever. i trusted her. with my everything.

"so what i wanted to talk to you about was i was wondering if you wanted to come and live with me?" "after all of this you want me still?" "especially after this." that was all i ever wanted to hear.

she went downstairs to sign the papers as i got a trash bag and put all my shit in there. i didn't have that many belongings so it only took 2 minutes . i walked downstairs and billie looked at me. she grabbed my bag and put her arm around my shoulder and we headed outside. together.
i was ready to start my new life.