Adopted by Billie Eilish

eighteen

i open the door and i'm immediately engulfed into a tight embrace. "did you tell her?" claudia whispered into my ear. i knew that if i said no that claudia would tell billie so i nodded into the hug.

"im proud of you bug." she tightened her grip. "okay claud give me gabby its my turn." finneas whined. he pulled me into a short hug.

we went over to the living room and all sat on the sofa. "wheres billie?" claudia asked. "i think shes in my room, im not sure." i replied. "ill go get her, ill be back now." she said as she pecked finneas' lips. i fake gagged. "gross. be in love somewhere else please." claudia and finneas both chuckled.

claudia had been upstairs with billie for 5 minutes now whilst me and fin just watched tv.

a few minutes later, claudia and billie came down the stairs. claudia sat between me and fin and billie sat on the other side of me.

"we need to talk." billie whispered into my ear. i gulped nervously. i looked at claudia as she flickered her gaze from me to the tv. i leant into claudia and whispered "you tell her?" claudia nods. "fuck this im going on a walk. ill be out for a while." and with that i left.

i needed to get out the house. the tention could of been cut with a knife thats how tense it was. i hate this so much. why the fuck did she betray my trust. i fucking trusted her and she runs off to tell billie. load of fucking shit. fuck my life.

i ended up in some random park in the neighbourhood. i sat on the swings with my headphones in listening to music.

it got to around 8pm and it was getting dark out. i had been ignoring all the calls and messages i had been receiving. i need to get out of the house for a while.

*ring* *ring*

i looked down at the caller id and picked up immediately. "sweetie, where are you? your mom, fin and claudia are worried sick." she said calmly. "maggie i'm safe i promise i just cant fucking bare being with them all right now. as much as i love them they can be a lot at times." she sighed. "i understand baby but your moms well known, you cant just leave and not tell anyone where you're going."
she replied, still staying calm. "i know, im sorry. can i spend the night at your house please? i need a break. its fucking with my head being there." i sighed. "of course you can. send me your location and ill come pick you up." she hung up.

i sent her my location and she came within 5 minutes. i sat down in her car. "have you spoke to billie? does she know where you are?" she asked. "ill text her now."
billie🙄

i'm staying at maggies.

seen

we pulled into the driveway and to no fucking surprise, billie and finneas' cars where parked outside. "for fucks sake. i'm not going out to them maggie. they're
both pissing me off." she sighed. "please just come inside. you dont have to talk to them." i nodded. i unbuckled my seat belt and walked into the house. i went straight into billies old room, turned the red lights on and locked the door. i face planted the bed and whipped out my phone.

the worst thing about not only being adopted but i was homeschooled too. which means i have literally no friends. at all. i have no one to talk to. and it sucks ass.

*knock* *knock*

"go away. i don't want to talk to any of you." *knock* *knock* "who the fuck is it." *knock* *knock* "for fucks sake." i yelled. i got up and opened the door.

i was greeted by my moms face. red and puffy. shes been crying. i just left the door open and sat in the corner of the bed with my legs up to my chest. i felt a wave of anxiety come over me.

billie hesitantly sat down beside me and held her hand out. i placed mine in hers. "baby, look at me." she said almost inaudibly. i looked up to her. "i love you, okay? i'm never going to not love you, ever. you don't have to hide the way you're feeling just so it doesn't upset me. i want to know how you're doing not only as a human being, as my daughter. you're doing so well but you cant do all of this on your own. you have to come to me if you need help or if you want to talk or even if you just want a hug. ill always be here for you. i'm never ever leaving you, okay? you are the most important person to me and all i want is for you to be happy. so please don't hide away your feelings from me. i want you to promise me. and ill promise you that no matter what you tell me i wont get angry."

she held out her pinky and interlaced it with mine. "i promise mom, i'm sorry."

"i'm sorry too baby." she pulled me in for a hug. "did you relapse gabby?" i nodded against her. i started crying softly. do i ever stop crying? "hey its okay, its okay i'm not angry. i'm proud of you for telling me. cmon lets get you cleaned up." she grabbed my hand and led me to the bathroom. "where'd you do it?" i pulled up my sleeve. billie never reacts when i show her my cuts. shes been through it all so she knows some massive reaction would just made me feel extremely uncomfortable.

"is it just on this arm baby?" i nodded. "yep just this one." i said. billie examined my face. "where else did you cut gabby?" i sighed. "nowhere just on my arm." she sighed. "promise me then." she held out her pinky. "okay fine, i did it on my legs and my other arm too." i said rolling my eyes.

"i'm not angry at you. you're my girl. i will never get angry at you. sure ill get mad at you every now and then but thats what moms and daughters do. there will be days when you hate everything about me. i've been a teenager too gab. me and my mom used to argue all the time. but theres something special about a mom and daughter relationship. d'you know what it is?" i shook my head no. "they will always love each other unconditionally. now cmon you've got me being mushy. lets get you cleaned up."

she threw some shorts for me to put on whilst she cleaned my cuts. she went back into her room and got a tracksuit from her younger years for me to put on.

we are all gonna stay over here. me, fin, claudia, billie and of course maggie and patrick.

me and billie walked into the living room to everyone on maggie and patricks bed waiting for us to watch a movie.

billie sat behind me with her legs wide and i sat inbetween them. "what movie you wanna watch billie. your turn to choose." fin asked. billie smirked and nudged me. "the conjuring." i looked back at her in disbelief. "nah fuck this move up." i sprung out of between billies legs and sat between her and claudia. now we were all very squashed.

everytime a jump scare would happen, billie and claudia would time it so they both grabbed me when it happened to freak me out even more. i clung onto both of their arms and closed my eyes shut. one more jump scare came on and they both did it again so i jumped out of the bed. "no fuck off I'm not watching this shit. i wont sleep FOR WEEKS. all this beauty doesnt come for free." i said batting my eyelashes. "you are so fucking weird." they all said laughing.

"im tired." i said to billie. she had her arm wrapped around me and i was nuzzled into her stomach. "go to sleep baby." i whined, "i wanna stay up with you guys though. sleepings for losers." i yawned. "its okay, we will all be here when you wake up. let your body rest. youve had a big day." claudia says whilst massaging my scalp. i nodded against billie. "i love you mama." i said. "i love you more baby."

"to the moon?" i questioned. "and back again." she replied.

i drifted into a deep sleep.