Adopted by Billie Eilish

thirteen

i woke up alone in my bunk. the bus has stopped moving so i'm guessing we are at the next venue.

"mama?" i croaked. no reply. "mom?" once again no reply. "billieeeeeeee?" no reply. i assumed she was doing sound check so i just went on my phone. i opened up instagram and to my surprise i had millions of notifications.

i had gained 4 million followers over night. i checked my dms. most of them were so sweet telling me that i was a good singer and that i'm so lucky to have billie. but when i opened one of them, my heart sank to my ass.

"kill urself you fat slut." my bottom lip quivered as i opened the next.

"go slit your wrists again you emo whore."

"you don't deserve billie."

"bleed yourself dry."

i began sobbing. i ran into the bathroom and grabbed my blade. i locked the door and pulled up left my sleeve. the scars etched on my wrists made me even more upset.

i held the blade in a tight grip in my right hand. i slashed and slashed. until once again my arm was covered in a pool of red. i opened up the medicine cabinet and grabbed the first aid box.

i pulled out a bandage. i wrapped it around and around my arm. tightly so the bleeding would stop. i pulled back down my sleeve. cleaned my face and walked out of the bathroom.

i got changed quickly and walked into the new venue. i heard billie singing and followed her angelic voice. i couldn't tell her. she would be so pissed. as i walked towards the stage i was greeted by claudia and maggie.

"goodmorninggg." claudia sang pulling me into a side hug. i looked up at her and forced a smile. "mornin." i said bluntly. maggie looked at me concerned.

we were stood at the barricade watched billie and finn. maggie walked towards me. "hey baby. can i talk to you please?" i nodded. "in private." i furrowed my eyebrows and nodded hesitantly. we walked towards the green room.

we both sat down on the couch. "whats wrong my love?" i looked at her confused. how does she know? is it that obvious? do i look like i'm begging for attention?

my thoughts were interrupted by maggie waving her hand in my face. "gabby talk to me. i'm here for you." i looked up at her. her blue eyes locked onto my green. my bottom lip quivered and i broke down. 

she pulled me into a hug. "my sweet girl. whats happened?" i looked up at her. i pulled my phone out of my back pocket and showed her my dms. "i'm sorry maggie."

she pulled me back into the hug. but this time she held me tighter. "can i talk to billie about this?" i shook my head no. "ill talk to her." "promise?" "i promise."

maggie and i stayed in that position for a while. my head on her chest and her arms around me. she just held me as i cried.

billie will be so mad when she finds out. i don't know if she will be mad at me or them. maybe a bit of both. i regret relapsing now. for fucks sake.

my thoughts are interrupted once again by the door opening. billie walked into the room with a confused expression across her face. "baby? have you been crying? whats the matter?"

an: vote!! comment any suggestions please i've got severe writers block.
as always, stay safe my babies <3