Eleanor's Desire

01. A new person

Chapter one

2 months later

"You sure this is what you want young lady? once this siccors come in contact with your hair...believe me there won't be no going back" Karina spoke carefully as her fingers drifted through the long shiny tumble of blonde hair that any woman would die for, the silky smooth long hair brushing through her fingers felt wrong to cut, as if it forbidden to chop off.

Eleanor sat at a dresser table with a big, round mirror in front of her, reflecting the face of a young woman who didn't want to see herself in distraught no more, who had cried tears until there were no more tears to cry, her normally smooth porcelin skin had turned blootched and dark circles started forming under her eyes that she used to take so good care of, moisturising it with rich products from the French boutiques, while know the thought didn't even concern her, in other words she looked lifeless. And she felt even worse than she looked. Empty and in despair.

But she had enough of it. It had been two months since she'd left Kevin and ever since then she had balled her eyes out, going through every possible stage of misery

today she would make the end. And god know she needs to start with herself to begin that.

Karina, the old woman who were kind enough to let both her and Lillian her sister stay in her shop and home had also stumbled across her when Eleanor's whole world fell apart,

"Young lady... your feeling heartbreak..." was her comment when Eleanor one day told everything after Karina insisted to know why she couldn't sleep, didn't want to eat, looking gloomy through out the day.

Heartbreak, that explained why something felt like was ripped out of her, the cries never seeming to end,

"Who ever that flimsy man was has lost a treasure...It'll pass.. you won't feel like this forever" Karina squeezed her hand affectionately

And ever since that Eleanor had picked herself up piece by piece,

Vowing to put the past behind her.

Casting a smile over her shoulder she nodded reasuringly,  "I am convinced, truthfully I've never had the courage to chop my hair, dress differently, talk differently, all because I strived for a life...." a life that no longer would be hers.. she had nothing to loose and frankly she wanted nothing else but to forget it all ever happened, "Do your magic Karina, I want you to make me unrecognizable.. like someone newborn and came to earth," Eleanor's eyes for the first time glimmered in a long time, the once lifeless deep blue eyes were now eager for something new.

Nerves pinched and fluttered along her skin, buzzling like a swarm of tiny gnats. Over the years she had never dared to try even change the style of her hair, a scandalous and rebulking act of an unmarried lady. To even want to cut her hair and damn with the consequiences was not something she had ever visioned herself doing

god forbid, it felt more than right.

it had been after all the one of the achievements she wanted to accomplish in her diary. A diary that were filled with everything that occured this few months, all from tearful and gnawing moments to the desire and want of something new. And it all was because she realised, realised the reason that had been stopping her life,

she wanted to blame Kevin, wanted him to blame for everything she had suffered. While he did break her heart and wrench it into piecies her she had come to realise another fact, a fact she was afraid to ever confront. Thinking love would fix her problems when Life had long before been empty , she'dnever felt fullfilled or joyful. All because of fear and other people's oppinions, the society, her father and family. She had always been scared, fearful and never dared to do anything beyond. Always behind the shadows and never doing anything reckless that would gather attention, attention that came with gossip and scandal.