┊30. Don't cry

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Don't cry

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Don't cry.
Don't you dare cry.

These are the words I've been repeating the entire time I was getting ready. Don't. Cry.

"You doing ok?" Marco asks knocking on the door. "I'll be fine." I nod turning around to face him. "Not what I asked."

"I can't do it Marco! Everyday is another reminder that he's gone. I'm alone and i can't do anything about it. I try to tell myself that I'll be ok and it'll all end soon but, some days I just can't breathe and I don't know how to make it stop. I just want it to stop." I sob as Marco pulls me into a hug.

"You're not alone Ella, you have me, Sofia, Amelia, Jayden, Nick, Matt, Chris, your team, fuck, probably even those dogs of yours. We're here for you, you just need to let us in." He pauses, "Now fix you lash extension cream thing, you messed it up."

I smile, a real, genuine smile. "Ok, I'll fix my mascara." I assure him. "Good, wouldn't want you embarrassing me out there." He says ruffling my hair before walking out.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Me:
Call me?

Leonardo:
(Incoming call)

"Hey, Bella," Leonardo's voice rings through phone. I take a second to breathe and pray I don't sound like I'm crying. "Hey," yep, It's definitely obvious that I'm crying.

"What's wrong?" His voice drops an octave. "Nothing," I sniffle, "my allergies are just acting up." I can practically see to unconvinced look on his face. "Seriously Leonardo, I'm fine."

"Ok. What do you need?" He asks. "Didn't know I needed a reason to socialize." I mumble. There's some shuffling on the other end before Leonardo speaks again. "You don't. Talk to me."

"You talk to me. I'm bored." I tell him getting out of my bed. "What do you want me to talk about?" Leonardo asks. "I don't know, something interesting." I say walking into the bathroom.

"Uhm, ok...uhm, so..."

"You're really bad at this." I tell him, washing the mascara off my face. "I'm sorry. You talk then, what are you doing?" Leonardo says. "Washing my face."

That gets me a chuckle. "I meant on your trip Bella." Oh. "Seeing some family friends." It's not a total lie. I mean they are family friends. I'm just skipping the part about my dead dad.

"When are you coming back?" Leonardo asks. I smile, which turns out horribly when I eat the cleanser.

"Ew. I'm coming back soon. Why? You miss me?" I tease. "A lot." Huh? "Huh?"

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