𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐘 || 𝐆𝐗𝐆 ||

CHAPTER FORTY FOUR

Zara

Lunch came very quickly, there is a plate of pizza in front of me which I'm eating and everyone else is just doing whatever.

"Are you not eating?" Quinn asks Noa who has her chin resting on her hand and seems like she's in another world, "Noa?"

Her name caught her attention, she hums and looks at her.

"Are you not eating?" The girl repeats herself and Noa shakes her head, my heart sank, "I haven't seen you eat all day."

"I'm just not hungry." She answers and the girl nods slowly. I tear some of my pizza and put it on the box and slide it over to her. She shook her head and returned it, but I gave it back to her, "Can you stop?!"

I whisper an apology and throw the food in the bin. She's still upset with what happened in the bathroom, I've spent two hours regretting every move I made towards those guys due to the way it made her feel.

She looks at me differently, hurt and regret and my heart sank into my stomach so I look down.

The rest of the day went awfully slow.

I sit in my car and look at Juliette who walks out of the school with Noa and I sigh and pick up my phone and click on my best friend's contact.

Is she not coming home with me like she usually does?

I watch her get the notification, I watch her look at her phone, and I watch her smile.

No, I'm taking her home.

Since when?

Since I asked if she wanted a ride home?

Whatever

I then look over at Karen who was actually waiting at the table her girlfriend just walked past. Her smile fades as she sees the two and then she picks up her bag and walks over to her car.

The door of my car opens and in came Caden, I look at him and raise a brow.

"My sister hates you right now, she's taking my car so drive me home." He says and I roll my eyes and start the engine, "You aren't bothered with her hating you?"

"If you don't shut up in the next five seconds I will hit your head against the window and let everyone watch you suffer." I groan and he was silent which made me smile from the silence.

I drive us down the road for a long time, it was silent the whole drive until I pull up in front of her house.

"Come to my room." He whispers and I chuckle and look at him.

"Five."

"Four."

He unfastens his seat belt.

"Three."

The car door was open.

"Two."

He turns to me and I look at him as he steps out of the car.

"Please come inside." He pleads and I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose with a small sigh.

"I won't be there long." I cave and he smiles and I get out of the car, locking it behind me.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I remove it from the pocket and look.

Carter: Wait for me in my room, we need to talk. I'll be home in ten minutes.

Of course, drive safely

I walk up to the front door with Caden who opens the door and I take off my shoes and hang my bag on the hook above the shoe rack.

"Come on." He says and I follow him upstairs but go into Noa's room and close the door behind me, "Zara?"

"Go to your room I don't care!" I shout and he sighs and does as I say.

He still likes me and I know this, he made a deal with his sister so he's awfully kind to me but I want nothing more than to throw him out of the window right now.

I look around her room and notice a stack of paper on her desk, I walk over and clean them up, putting them on the side with her notebooks. One in particular stood out, a golden rim with white and black details along the front.

I pick it up just for a few pieces of paper to fall onto the floor, I place the notebook back down and lean to pick up the paper. I shouldn't do this, but I see my name on the front so it's my sign.

Blondie, my star, the brightest star in the sky <3

She's so beautiful like I just want to hold her in my arms forever and never let her go. She makes me feel like a child again which means I have never been so happy and I feel at home. When we talk, all my problems vanish and seeing her every day makes my heart skip a beat and makes me want her for the rest of my life. Her heart is made from gold, very delicate which is why I protect it with everything inside of me because breaking her heart means breaking my own.

I'm in love with her, of course, I am in love with her, every movement, every word, everything about her I find myself head over heels. She's everything I have ever wanted and I think about her day and night. I should ask her to be my girlfriend, everyone keeps telling me to make us official and I want to, I really want to.

I smile and put the paper back down in the notebook and return it all back to how it was and then go over to her bed and take a seat.

She should be home soon.

~~~

"Look at me, please look at me." She sits in front of me, her hands holding onto mine and I do as she says, "I love you, okay?"

"No, no. If you loved me, you would let me help you because I know something is wrong." I feel the tears burning my eyes and I already know where this is going.

"Zara, I love you and I have done for a long time you know this very well by now. The calls have been on my mind for a while now and it's affecting how I feel mentally and I don't know what to do anymore. I want to make you happy, I want to be able to provide you happiness that you deserve, but what I feel is going to end up hurting you at some point and I really don't want that to happen to you. Maybe it's best if we have a break, just put a pause on things between us, or maybe end things if this is what it leads to. It will only be until I feel better and I am stable enough to do this." She has tears falling down her cheeks and she squeezes my hands, "I am really sorry. Please just know I truly do love you and I won't stop for the rest of my life, you know this already."

"If you need to feel better and this is what's best, then that's okay I understand and I understand that because I want you to be okay. Take as much time as you need I will wait for you, even if it takes weeks or months, I will wait, I promise you. I love you and I will return when you are ready for me, just give me a sign and I will be right here." The tears fall down my cheeks and she nods and rests her forehead against mine, "I can give you space right now if you want."

"I want you to stay." She whispers and I nod with as the ache in my stomach increases, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, what happened?" I ask and she wipes my tears and my heart breaks in my chest.

"His words just repeat in my head and I can't handle it anymore I really hate it." She confesses and I nod and rub my thumb over the palm of her hand, "I am really sorry about this."

"I forgive you, come back to me when you are ready. I shall wait for as long as it takes."