Flames Of Seduction- Book 1

Chapter Eight

Holy fuck! I'm literally slapped in the face, hard. This contract is so fucked up. What is this? Sexual military! I can't let myself do these things. Let him using my body just for pleasure, doing things he asks me to do? Obeying him in every way? This is so fucked up. I'm more shocked than to be angry with him and me, shocked because I didn't see it coming, I haven't noticed a beautiful and strong, rich man like him, who made sweet love to me last night, could be so dangerous and dark, I have read in romance story a lot but never thought it could actually be true, never thought I could get to these tricks. He was right!

There should have been a problem in which I notice it now that it's too late. Too late to run off of it. The anger comes over me and stops my vision. I'm shaking and yet frozen, keeping the three-page contract connecting me to him in my hand. I don't even dare to look up at him; my head is still down, my eyes dancing over the rules, passing lines after lines, making sure I didn't miss a word, yet I know I haven't, it's all true.

"Is there anything you need to know? Please ask." He breaks the silence with his calm voice. I look at him, speechless and hit by a great stone as knows as the damn contract in my hand. My own misery in my own hand. Why didn't I see it coming? I blink a couple times at him. He doesn't give any emotions. So bossy of him. Now it all turns out itself. "You can quit it anytime you don't want." He says when he sees I don't talk.

My tongue can't even move, let alone talking. My mouth is sealed. Is this what it's supposed to be? I swallow hard and close my eyes, pretending I'm not here, he doesn't sit in front of me, and I'm not in his apartment, way too far away from here and earth.

For one second, he was my prince with the white horse. He was the man who made sweet love to me last night, who hold me close to his chest and planted kisses on my forehead as I drifted to sleep. He was my brave rescuer; he was supposed to save me from my own hell. Just for a second. But now, here we are, sitting and talking about me being his fuck slave for three damn months.

"Why do you have to do this?" I stutter. Still, my eyes are closed. I don't dare to open them; I don't want to face the reality, don't want to see the mistake I've done and he puts me in.

"That's the way I want it to be; no love, no romance yet with much caring and relationship enough to fill your needs as well," He says each word with such a confidence. He is calm and relaxes, taking sips from his drink in his hand. I, on the other hand, am a blind and a wreck. What should I do?

"You take pleasure out of putting people in pain, this is not about partnership or even giving pleasure, it's about you taking advantage of someone. That's called abuse." This is hectic. How can these things give human pleasure, I'm sure they won't give that to me. Plus, am I able to tolerate being tied up while he fucks me? Oh god, I surely spent too much time in my own shell.

"I will never force you into it. You don't know much about it, I take it, but I promise it doesn't look like that. It can bring so much pleasure to us. Consider it as a normal sex, but with some things in between like me being in charge of you, doesn't that turn you on?" Turning me on? No, it more sounds like turning me away. So this is both sides. I don't think so. This contract only has benefits to him.

I inhale deeply as like I'm so in need of the air. This is frustrating. I put my head in my hands and lean forward. Even my hands can't take the heavy tension I have in my head. I stare down at the ground under my feet. What will happen to those feelings I had for him?

I still like him and I still want to be with him, but with this, with giving him the consents to my body, for as much as gentle he could be. Knowing that he doesn't want me the way I want him. I want him to cherish me, love me, make love to me each time instead of some passionate and pleasure he gets when he fucks me. Fuck this all. I still have a feeling for him, want him badly, and want him to kiss me, touch me. But does it worth it? To put my body, my mind in illusion and let him take pleasure, that maybe meanwhile he would give that pleasure back to me? He doesn't say a word. Neither should he. His contract explained all. I know it then, I have to let go.