Flames Of Seduction- Book 1

The Bonus Chapter- Part One

My life is fucked up. If there were any other words to explain how plain and empty it looks like, I would be surprised. I have done so many things in the past that the scars of those wounds are burning now. I was bold and fucked up. My life is fucked up. I worked hard and fucked hard so I can forget the ghosts from the past. But, no, they are still after me.

Then out of nowhere came in Laura. She and her smart mouth can get her so many places. Her smile stops me dead; her desire makes my head spin. Her smooth skin is like heaven better than those submissives I had. Yet, there is still something between us. My secrets, my past and her demands.

I know if I tell her about my life and how she was intended to play the same role before I changed my mind- she will never look at me the same. She will run away from me. And that is the last thing I wanted. I want to make her mine. All mine. She is changing me and I like that fact about her. She is full of life, innocence and somehow craziness. Things that I have a defect. If anything, I'm exact opposite her. Each day, each minute, I feel the sensation growing in me. I want to stop it. I want to let her leave and if she won't, I would make her leave, as far as possible. But each time I try to get her away from me, I'm captured towards her stronger.

This is like a spell. She's the spell.

Last night, that spell faded as I lost my senses. Blame it on alcohol, but I know better. My foolishness and blindness got us where we are. Last night, I listened to her crying, but the coward I am, I let her leave. I thought it was better for her. I thought I can save her by showing her my monster but I was wrong. It pained her as much as it pained me.

After she left, I drank and drank. My anger at myself got me to a place that I punch the wall. Crash all the glasses and anything I can find.

Standing before my office desk, I look down on the only object that remains on the desk. The necklace and two earrings that I was going to gift it to her are both placed innocently before me. Last night was supposed to be fun, romantic and full of joy, but look at where everything ended up. I planned a night for us, just as she did for me, but when she didn't come, I got so nerves, so angry.

One of my competitors threatened me to get exposed me to the government because of the so call tax ditching I had, but when I proved him that he can't do a thing, he threatened me that I will regret. I knew he didn't have any power to do so, but that didn't help.

I looked for her everywhere, and when I couldn't find a trace, I was about to lose my mind, then there she comes, all collected and calm like nothing happened. But when she started complaining about telling her a lie and going behind her back, I saw red.

"DAMN IT," I punch the desk, the pain rushed in my hand but I ignore it.

I get so drunk that I don't realize it's morning now. The bright shining sun rises. Now in the living room, I stand in the bright light let it consume me, thinking it can wash away my sins. The restless night passed by me shouting at myself, I wanted to go to her, find her and hug her tight in my arms but I didn't. I wanted her to get disgusted by me, to hate me. I know she's having feelings for me, maybe mine isn't as strong as hers, but it doesn't take much to notice the look in her eyes.

Scott comes up after I call him. I called off today, the last thing I want now is to take my drunken coward ass to the office and fuck everything over. You piece of shit, Andrew.

"Sir, are you ok?" Scott calls out. I don't turn to face him, though. Leaning against the window by my hand, staring down at the busy streets, I look at people walking emotionless.

"Do you think I will be forgiven, after all my sins?" I ask him, still looking away.

"I don't know," Scott replies. He's close to me. Although it's been four or five years, he has become so close to me, that I trust him as a friend even sometimes he plays a greater role, like my father. He knows about my past, not all, of course, but enough that he knows about my lifestyle. He doesn't judge, though, he never criticizes what I am and what I have done.