Welcome to my life and my thoughts. Poems.

I'll never be that girl

Do you ever feel like you can't take anymore? Can't go through anymore? Like you just want to give up? And not constantly have to face up to expectations? It's horrible, and it just keeps getting worse until you put a stop to it.

Do you not think I’ve suffered enough?

Been through enough pain?

Been through a lot of things I shouldn’t have at my age?

Every time I start becoming myself again,

Something else comes along,

Pushing the real me,

Further and further back,

I used to be able to slow it down,

But now I can’t,

The real me seems to buried to be able to dug back up,

I feel as if I’m living in a world that’s not real,

I’m just sitting back and watching everyone come and go as they please,

Everything come and change how and when it wants,

But about what I need though?

What I want?

You always tell me how much I mean to you,

How you’ll do anything for me,

But it doesn’t ever seem to be true,

I always believe it though,

I used to be strong,

Be able to hold myself together,

But now all the pieces are just falling apart,

There’s no escape this time,

You never truly meant what you said did you?

And if you did why didn’t you keep that promise!

I don’t matter anymore,

Not the real me,

It’s more the person that you want to be perfect,

Always know what to do and say,

Always helpful,

Always getting good grades and praise,

Always looking the right way,

A certain way,

Always being that perfect daughter that I’ll never be,

No matter how hard I try.