Welcome to my life and my thoughts. Poems.

Why should I?

Maybe two wrongs don't make a right, but neither does one right and one wrong. 

Why should I go to the effort when you clearly aren't putting any in,

Why should I bother to talk to you when you call,

You rarely do anymore,

Why should I bother to try to get us closer, 

Have a stronger bond as if we aren't just friends, 

But are related,

Like we are,

I give up,

I give in,

It's not fair to put me through this,

You left me,

When I was small enough to not understand anything,

Then when I saw you again,

I thought I understood it,

I obviously didn't,

Because it seemed as if everything was fine,

But it wasn't!

You couldn't even see how much I was smiling with pretend,

Trying to convince myself,

I won't ever forgive you for leaving,

But I can try to know you more,

I feel as if I don't really know,

Like I only know the person who seems to put on an act when I see you once a year,

"I",

What about you?

You don't seem to care much anymore,

If you ever did,

You don't try to help,

You barely know anything about me.

That's not the way it's meant to be though!

I was meant to be the person you treasured,

Fell in love with when you held me for the first time,

I did nothing wrong,

Then why do I blame myself?

It's not fair,

I wasn't that special to you, was I?

Don't lie.

If I was,

You wouldn't have left,

But you did,

So I guess that one's solved,

But why?

I want to know why?

But I'm not strong enough to ask.

Face up to you and ask you to your face.

I think it's the fear of losing you,

But to be honest,

I wouldn't be losing much.

That's how I honestly feel,

You don't seem to be bothered anymore,

Try anymore,

You should though,

You're supposed to,

Except apparently I don't mean much to you,

Have much value,

That's how it seems,

Then why should you have value to me?

Mean something to me?

I'm meant to be a person you love,

Know will,

Someone I can talk to,

Rely on to be there,

But I can't,

And I don't have that person,

Isn't that how a relationship between a father and daughter,

Should be?

I wouldn't know.

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