Welcome to my life and my thoughts. Poems.

If you'd listen you'd actually understand.

This one was really hard for me to write. And even harder to put on here, but this is how I feel I shouldn't made to feel guilty about it. Sometimes it's just the way it is, the way you wish it wasn't. One word - family.

You tell me to listen,

So I do,

But you don’t listen to me,

You tell me to be honest,

Tell the truth,

So I do,

And I do my best to make you listen,

But you don’t,

You never did,

I never mean or meant as much as those two to you,

I know that,

I’ve always known that,

From the second I truly realised and understood you weren’t really mine,

You never understand what I have to say,

What did I do wrong?

I have a parent,

Who doesn’t seem to love me,

Doesn’t seem to want to call anymore,

I have a step parent who treats me differently to his children,

But he’s played it like this for so long,

My other parent doesn’t realise,

They were mine first,

And it seems she no longer is,

She used to side with me,

But now no one will,

No one does,

So who do I have left?

What am I left with to cling onto?

Nothing,

I feel useless,

I’m not listened to when I need to be,

I tell the truth and what do I get for it?

I get shouted at.

Told off,

I never did anything wrong to have all this,

This stress,

This anger,

This hate,

These regrets,

I wish I could walk away from it all,

I used to say that to reassure myself,

But I realise now I really would if I could,

I can’t take it anymore,

You might meant a lot to me,

But the other one doesn’t,

I can’t stand it,

You do mean a lot,

But you come with ‘accessories’,

Ones I can’t shake off,

Get rid of,

I miss being that close to you,

How it once was.