sleeping arrangements.

GIVING IT UP

taehyung focus
taehyung couldn't help but laugh quietly, "our phone bills are gonna be huge."

"doesn't matter, let's just talk until you're sleepy." jungkook replies. hearing jungkook being this considerate made taehyung's heart clench painfully.

he changes the topic quickly,
"so how's college?"

"good, my dorm's really huge though and my roommate, yoongs, is great." he happily says.

taehyung pauses.
WHY IS HE ACTING SO NORMAL.

"oh."

"what about you? excited?"

WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CASUAL? YOU BROKE MY HEART, YOU JERK. SAY SOMETHING.
taehyung couldn't stop the questioning thoughts erupting in his head.
he clears his voice before responding waveringly.

"yeah, just wondering who i'll have as a roommate." taehyung plays with the lint on his sweatpants as he says so. his roommate, 'minjae' as stated on the dorm form, had yet to arrive at the college.

he was lying when he said he was fine. he was shitting his pants in fear at the thought of sleeping in a small room with someone he doesn't even know. but he wasn't going to tell jungkook - what would he do about it? somehow drive three hours to come sleep with him? taehyung rolls his eyes at the very idea, of course not.

"ah." jungkook responds, an awkward silence setting over the two afterwards. taehyung doesn't know what to say.

"jungkook. why are you calling up for?" he finally asks.

"i told you jus-"

"no, why are you calling? don't you feel awkward? don't you feel-? i-i don't know."

"..."

"uh, i don't know. i just wanted to make sure you can sleep tonight."

"you didn't call at all during the summer holidays." taehyung says, desperately trying to hide the bitter tone hidden in his voice.

taehyung can hear jungkook sigh softly, "i needed some time to think and uhm, you're moving into college today so i thought of wishing you luck or uh whatever.." jungkook rambles.

"so? what do you think?" taehyung was starting to hate this phone call and how raw the sadness in his voice sounds.

"oh um. i still don't want to be in a relationship with you - you're one of my best friends! i can't think of you as my, as my boyfriend and-"

"it's okay," taehyung cuts in, mumbling. he doesn't want to go through rejection again.

taehyung just gives up the idea of jungkook falling in love with him ever, right then and there.

he just wanted this conversation to end already.

"im sorry, tae."

a ragged breath falls out of taehyung's lips, tears unconsciously pooling in his eyes. he gives a shaky yawn, making sure that jungkook could hear it over the receiver.

"i think ill try and get some sleep, bye." taehyung whispers and hangs up for the sake of his phone bill and the heavy feeling burrowing deeply at his chest.

jungkook called thinking that hearing his voice would make taehyung fall asleep easily, but calling him did the opposite - taehyung's never felt so alone before.

[fun fact; i was listening to 'letting go' by day6 and was so emo when i wrote this lol].