Her Devastation [30]

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Meredith

Pain. 

It's all I can feel every time I become conscious for a few moments. I remember shouting. A lot of panicked shouting around me. Then it was sirens. My name was constantly being called and lights were being shone in my eyes but I couldn't respond to any of it. I wasn't sure of what was going on or why I felt numb from my neck down to my feet but along with the pain that consumed my body when the numbness disappeared, I knew it was something bad. 

I couldn't tell you how long I was out for. I could have died and not known it happened. I would be leaving behind the people I love and care about. But on the bright side, I would be reunited with my parents. That's something I've wished for ever since they died, just to see them one last time. Although I doubt they would be very happy to know I've died just to see them.

Plus, I have my own child to take care of soon. I can't die before she's even taken her first breath. I have to live to see my beautiful princess. I hope that whatever has happened to me, hasn't affected her in the slightest. I wouldn't know how to survive without her now that I know she's my daughter and growing happily inside me.

As luck has it, I don't die on that fateful day. I know that because eventually my heavy eyes open to bright lights and a strong smell of disinfectant invades my senses. My vision is blurry for a moment as my eyes adjust, just like waking up from sleep. I recognise the tidy, sterile room and come to the conclusion that I'm in a hospital.

I'm in a private room, no other patients are around me. It's quiet in here and the sun streams in through the window and warms my legs beneath the thin sheets. I notice a table at the end of my bed and on it sits a few get well soon cards and a gorgeous bunch of yellow roses. I want to reach out and touch its soft petals but the wires attached to me prevent me from doing so.

My body aches. It feels bruised all over. I lift a hand up to my face, seeing healing cuts on the back of it and chipped nails. I let it drop down onto the bed and look down at my legs. One of them is wrapped in a cast and elevated off of the bed. It must be broken. I still can't recall what happened. I wish someone was here to tell me. Where is Eliot?

I sigh in frustration, letting my eyes wander over the rest of my body, inspecting it for any other injuries when my eyes land on my belly. For a moment it doesn't register that it looks flatter than normal. I just stare at it in confusion until my breath catches in my throat and a sickening feeling settles inside me. My hands hastily pull the sheets away from my body, revealing a bland hospital gown and a flat stomach that once held a perfect round bump.

Instantly I'm panicking and screaming for someone to come to me, tears filling my eyes as I search for any sign that my baby is here and I'm just imagining things. I vaguely hear the door to my room open and a few nurses surround me and try to calm me down.

"Miss Brooks, do you know where you are?" One nurse asks me.

"Where is my baby? Am I not pregnant anymore?!"

"Miss Brooks, I need you to calm down. My name is Kelly and I'm a nurse here. You were in a serious accident and sustained a few injuries. You need to stay calm."

As soon as I hear "accident", all the memories come rushing back to me. The second note, Eliot and I arguing about the baby, me storming out of the house as Emily ran after me... and the car that hit me as I was crossing the road. The machines around the bed begin beeping erratically as I struggle to breathe. More people come rushing into the room.

"Mer you're awake!" I look over at Emily standing near the door, relief evident on her face as she holds a cup of coffee close to her chest.

"Em-Em, where's my baby? Where's my little girl?!" I gasp at her, my eyes frantically searching the room or any sign of her.

Emily's relief only lasts seconds before her expression changes to sadness. She looks a wreck, guilt and devastation clear on her face. Looking at her, I know. I know my baby is gone.

I scream. I scream and cry in agony as Emily rushes towards me, pushing the nurses away so she can wrap me tightly in her arms. She holds me for hours, both of us crying. No words are spoken. Nothing anyone can say would make me feel better. My beautiful princess is gone.

Time passed slowly around us. The sunshine went and the room grew darker with the night. We didn't move. We sat on the hospital bed in silence, tears continuing to silently fall down my cheeks as I stared at nothing. Despite the pain in my broken leg, I felt numb. My heart hurt but I was numb to anything happening around me. Nurses came and went. They didn't say anything to us. They didn't make Emily leave even though visiting hours were long ago closed.

I briefly wondered where Eliot was. But then I dismissed the thought as soon as it came. He never cared about my child. He was just stringing me along this whole time. He never thought to tell me that he was struggling to accept the baby. He made me feel wanted and safe. He made all the bad things with Jack feel worth it just to meet him and be saved by him. I thought he really liked me, maybe even loved me. He said we were mates, destined for one another.

Well, he can find another mate because anyone claiming to love me and want to spend the rest of their life with me, wouldn't do what he did. And now because of it, I lost my little girl.

I couldn't ever forgive him for that.


[ Hi everyone! I know the wait has been sooo long and I apologise. Placement has been crazy and I just haven't had the time. My laptop is not working either now so I had to write this on my Kindle. Hope the layout isn't too off or looking weird. Anyway, I know you'll hate me for this chapter but it was always the plan. I'm sorry! But the baby just wasn't meant to be. I have two weeks off starting next week so I'll update at some point during that time. Vote and comment, let me know what you think! ]

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